As it was written in the Scrolls of Sutekh…

Well it’s the weekend again, so it means I should throw some words on virtual paper. Get the brainmeats out of the way quick, being back on seroquel means I’m sleeping more/better, but my anxiety is still way out there. (not expecting immediate fix, I know better). Depression lurks in a ninja kind of way, I see good things, I feel good things, but it leaps out every now and again in a nihilistic kind of way that reminds me that I’m still rather broken. But I’ve been broken before, and I’ve put myself together, repeatedly. I am a New Yorker after all, we’re survivors.

So enough strum und drang. What is best in life Vulpine? Well, I’m not Conan, so lets start with books. Been reading a bunch of old school Mythos still. Got a pile of other stuff to read, but other than a little history it’s all tentaclular horrors. Listened/ing to a few books by Charlie Stross to get in the mood for his latest Laundry File book next month. Not the whole series, just enough to get back in the series. So many books, so little time.

Went to see ‘The Mummy’ today. A solid bit of cheese, with a side of ham from Russell Crowe. Yes it could have been much better, but it still was fun and Sofia Boutella was a nice mix of creepy, evil, and lovely. Plus, she was literally covered in hieratic script, so a walking book. Sign me up for the cult please. *grin* Also, for any Lovecraftians who’ve seen it, did anyone look at the red jewel McGuffin and think ‘Shining Trapezohedron’ ? Or was that just me trying to make everything into a Mythos reference

What will I do tomorrow? Probably just chores and stuff. Been meaning to clean up the bedroom for months now, may just pop an audiobook or podcast in and spend a while in there trying to get things organized. This is alongside a store run, laundry and similar stuff, so I may set reasonable goals instead. Assuming I don’t just hide in bed with a book, or within a movie marathon of cheese and gore. We’ll see. For now though, going to call this a post before it’s technically Sunday. Laters cultists.

Green Vulpine needs Hope, badly.

Well it’s another week, and I’m not doing so hot. Had a relapse after last weekend, doctor called in new antibiotics which have helped. But I still feel pretty lousy. My lungs are really tight, I’ve been using the inhaler a bunch. It helps, but I have a feeling I need to find a respiratory specialist and get my lungs really checked out. Along with an allergist, and possibly a full body transplant specialist. So if anyone is experimenting with building cyborgs, I may be your guinea pig.

I worked from home Mon-Wed. I was told rather firmly to go home since I sounded like a TB ward. I got stuff done, but I still feel like a slacker. *sigh* Oh, I haven’t mentioned it, but I have a new boss. Nothing bad, just some reshuffling above my level. Going to actually meet the guy (he works out of Atlanta, soon to be Tennessee) next week. I do kind of like having remote managers, less of the insanity of a former employer. Plus, me and my team mates just work well together, no real need for a day to day watch over us kind of guy.

Due to the relapse, I’ve mentally canceled most of my weekend plans. Not sure I want to leave the house, not sure I’ll be able to do all the chores that are backed up either though. I really don’t know. I’m going to try to get at least the minimum I need for survival, if I can do more, I will, and if I can’t…well *throws tentacles in the air*

Mental health is…poor. Mom’s anniversary of her passing is next weekend, and I’ve had lots of reminders of things in the last couple of weeks. The pneumonia is definitely NOT helping. (Her death, for those who don’t know, was due to a bout of pneumonia). Add to that the world news lately, and personal issues I don’t want to go into on here, I’m really not a happy fox. Seriously, I think the only reason I haven’t had a full on meltdown is I’m going numb before it happens. Hiding in books, in movies. I have a pshrink visit in a few weeks, and I sense we’ll be changing things.

In regards to the new news on Livejournal, I’m honestly not sure I give a darn. Not that I particularly trust the Russian Federation, but there really isn’t anything on there I’m concerned about. On the other tentacle, they’re no longer using SSL. That’s bad, m’kay. I even tried to force it, nope redirect to port 80. Not sure how much I want to go to DW. I already have a blog, and I have a sort of copy of all my posts on LJ. But since I don’t really have the tentacles to cope with a decision, I’m not going to make one just yet.

So what am I going to do this weekend? Besides at least the bare minimum of chores, I’m watching movies. Specifically right now ‘The Void’, which I’ve been waiting for with major anticipation. I also picked up both ‘Alien vs Predator’ movies on bluray to complete my current collection. So maybe Aliens marathon tomorrow, or something else. Or I may just read all the books. I really am just going to try to relax, hopefully my lungs will feel better, and I’ll be in a better place come Monday. I can dream at least.

Checking in

Was a weird week. Spent all of my 3 day weekend home recovering. I cheerfully could have called in Tuesday or Wednesday as well, but I put on my big cultist robes and went to work. Was kind of glad to see people actually. I’m still not 100%, but I’m close (minus the perpetual allergy argument). Mood was pretty lousy though this week. Between being sick, a whole lot of negative memories rising to the surface, and reality being pretty depressing. At least my subconscious eased up on me while I was asleep, with a lack of anxiety dreams. I kind of snapped out of it this morning, as Fridays often fix the ills in my head.

As I said last post, I’ll be back to patching on Sunday evening. Approx 30 servers this go-round, but I’ll have at least one other admin patching, and other bodies to do support tests and verify applications. So it should be fairly smooth. Week will be a tad short, but that’s ok. I still have social plans for tomorrow and for Sunday prior to patching.

So what’s up in the land of Vulpine besides work and illness? Lots of books, lots of reading. For some odd reason most of what I’ve read has been set in London, England between 1890-1920. Originally there was no plan, but between a couple of Mythos tales, and pastiches of Sherlock Holmes and Carnacki the Ghost Finder, and another period fantasy bit I’ve spent a lot of mental shoe leather wandering around London. Currently reading ‘Dust and Shadow’ which pits Sherlock against Jack the Ripper. I’m also hoping to have a spare weekend day in the next few weeks where I feel up to finishing up on the rearranging of the Starry Wisdom Library and building of at least one new bookcase. Hopefully I’ll be sans plague in time to do this before summer hits. Bedroom also needs work, but that’s less pressing. Less books in there. And more work.

Ok, that’s about all I have for right now. I have tons of bright ideas for posts, but usually they get detailed just as I’m getting ready for bed. I’m starting to think I need a voice recorder to ramble into so I remember these quirky ideas. For now though, I’m going to enjoy my Friday night hermit. Catch you all later.

Home, with a body

I was going to go be social with Amythest today. Woke up this morning and had exactly 0 tentacles for leaving the house. I’m trying to see if I can find some, but I really think I’ll just be staying here at home.

Weird dreams again, including my agnate sibling. Something about moving, so double odd. I also dreamed more stuff that’s from a city in my dreams, same place that the ur-Bookstore is in, but this is a major subway/train station, with a hub that has a lot of small shops in it. So I guess I’ll be dreaming about the theater district next. Yeah, I dream about this place a lot. I wonder if I’ll end up going somewhere and go ‘Oh holy crap, this is that dream!’. Which, if it has the ur-Bookstore, may mean I’ll finally move. My luck, it’s Unknown Kadath, and Nyarlathotep will be there to mock me.

Finished one book and one serial story last night. So much Mythos. And I have much more to read. Some group funded books came in, including a collection of stories based on the writing of Ramsey Campbell, one of my favorite authors. So that should be a lot of fun. As I said yesterday, I need to do some reviews. Maybe I can knock out a few today.

Not much else, work this week should be busy. I know I’m spending a few hours tomorrow dealing with telco stuff. I’m thinking I may work from home one day so I can sit down and focus on one project from the comfort of Château Innsmouth. We’ll see, I’d like to do it Friday, so I can work til late if I get into a groove, but we already have one admin on PTO that day. We’ll see what the boss thinks. Ok, that’s enough ramble for today. Catch everyone later. Oh yeah, enjoy your Superb Owls.

Dealing with the upcoming weekend.

Quick post about tomorrow’s Inauguration of the American POTUS-to-be. I’m going to be avoiding Facebook without a ton of filters in place, and probably twitter utterly. I’m going to go head down into work and try to knock out a bunch of stuff, then leave and depending on tentacle levels either take myself out for some ‘Us’ time, or come home and hermit and watch comfort movies, with the above mentioned filters. I have a possible idea of posting an imperial arseload of positive stuff, things I like, books I’ve enjoyed, the insanity of some of the podcasts I listen to. Kind of balance out the anger, the sadness, the stupidity that will fly.

So, do whatever you feel the need to do that gets you through the night (and hurts everyone, including yourself, the least). Prepare for me being as silly and weird as possible, filter if needed. And on Monday, back to work.

(Yes, this also means I won’t be discussing any insanity. If you REALLY want my opinion, and you probably don’t, email/message me, I may answer on Monday.)

And when things get weird…

Going to be a weird week for me. Most of the weekend was spent in some degree of sinus pain/pressure. Worked last night on some Carcosa Corp stuff, which wasn’t bad, just took a while. Today came into work a tad late, but no random stuff being broke due to last night’s work. I have bad luck with making late night changes that look fine, but in the cold light of day (and customer activity) you find the errors and mis-estimates. Not today, other than adjusting firewall rules to take the additional databases into account.

The weird starts with DR testing at work this week. I’m the guinea pig, as the new guy, I’ve been kind of deliberately kept in the dark, so when they hand me the documentation, we can see if there are flaws in it, that someone who’s familiar with the process would just be able to fill in. We’ll see how well this works. I’m kind of anxious because, hey, new situation. But it should be ok, or at least be educational.

I also have a friend going in for a what’s supposed to be a minor surgical procedure. All should be ok, and it should be a day procedure. But of course, I’m twitchy. Don’t like my friends in hospitals. *sigh*

Add in Friday’s expected political insanity, I expect the internets to be utterly awash in hatred and anger. So I’ll probably avoid much discussion, set filters to maximum, and maybe spend the weekend trying to translate the Voynich Manuscript. Or go to art museums and bookstores. Or binge on cheesy 80s horror movies. Or get on social media, and find 2000 more groups from all over the spectrum to block…

So this week will be a tad challenging. But there are perks. And books, and people who care. Oh yeah, and Cthulhu. Always good to have an eldritch monstrocity that drives you insane in your corner. So on that tentacled note, I’ll ramble more later. I’m going to try to post more here, get back in my blogging habit, vs miniposts on Facebook.

General State of the Fox

I’m doing mostly ok mentally, the depression hole I fell into for the holidays has mostly passed. Just in time for my yearly asskicking DeathCold ™. Was out of the office 2 days last week. At least this time it’s not technically a DeathCold ™, it’s allergies of insane levels. I realized today, Texas is treating me like a foreign (of the damn Yankee variety) body, and it’s using pollen as antibodies. No idea when I’ll be back to ‘normal’. The urge to flee the state and move somewhere without trees is strong. Greenland or Antarctica. *le sigh*

Work is good, I’m doing some upgrade foo Sunday night. Next week will be hopping. Second payday was today, yay income. Still like my coworkers a bunch, both my team and the groups we worth with. So that’s a major plus. Slowly, but surely, the weird stressors from the Shoggoth Pit are fading.

In non-work stuff, I’ve been on a religion kick, mostly the minority sects of the Middle East (Yazidis, Zoroastrian, and other stuff I’d never heard of), as well as Gnostic foo. In my fuzzy brain I’m turning this stuff into head canon for Mythos, as I often do. I’ll probably dig into Hermeticism in the future for much the same thing. NeoPlatonic Cthulhu Cultists, next on Fox. Waiting mostly patiently for a new book called ‘Winter Tide’ by Ruthanne Emrys. Things from the Deep Ones point of view, which I always appreciate. The first 5 chapters are online Tor.com, as well as the first story in the series, The Litany of Earth. Go forth and do honor to Mother Hydra and Father Dagon.

Upcoming plans, some socializing with the Ufies tomorrow, Sunday will be Amythest time before the work that evening. After that, not a lot of real plans. Then it’s mostly work and books and geekery til the summer. Then I’m going on my first cruise, from Seattle to Alaska, by way of Canada. Looking forward to a new adventure on the high seas. And if timing, job and finances work out, I’m also going to try to go to either the NecronomiCon in Providence, or back to the HPLFF in Portland. Yay traveling fun and games. And bookstores, I have them already picked out. *grin* Yeah, I have my priorities. And tonight’s priority is finish my Friday the 13th mini-marathon, read stuff, and sleep in tomorrow. Happy weekend to all, and to all a good night.

New Year’s Post

Well, it’s 2017. New year started, old year in the rearview mirror. The old year wasn’t that horrid for me, minus the holiday near meltdown. Job has been good, and good for my coping skills. I wasn’t nearly as social as usual this last year, nor have I done as much computer geekery as I used to. Still keeping up with the books and bad movies though.

As is traditional for New Years Day, I’ve spent today doing the things I want to have happen more of in the new year. So bad movies, buying books, petting cats (doing critter care for some friends that are out of town), sleeping in, and computer geeking. Hoping it leads to good and nifty things.

Last night I went to a comic/geek convention, didn’t do much besides some shopping, hanging out with friends, and attempting to go to the ‘parties’ in the evening. Figured out that I’ve gotten old. At one I wanted to yell ‘Turn that crap down’, and at the VIP party I listened to a decent cover band get mangled by lousy sound engineering. I cut out around 11, to avoid the drunks in Dallas, but they were already out in force. Came home, watched the year roll over. I did manage to find the only Cthulhu stuff in the ‘con. (A new dice game, that had cool tshirts, and a tshirt vendor who had a HPL shirt that I didn’t own), and a movie producer who aims to recreate 50’s B movies. So I had to get two. Was fun, but not really my kind of ‘con. Nothing on the tracks caught my attention, and most everything was comics or Harry Potter. Oh well, not every convention can be the HPLFF.

Really no plans for tonight, besides continuing with my superstition. I’m off work tomorrow, and I’ll spend most of it doing the chores I’m not doing today (laundry, cleaning, store run) Then it’s back to work. I don’t have any New Years resolutions, I’m weird and do resolutions around my Spawning Day.

So that’s about it. I may do a review of 2016, or I may not. All depends on what I get done tomorrow, and how many tentacles I’m left with, along with how much I want to dive into the last year. Might be better to just aim forward. But on that note, hope it’s a good year to everyone. Talk to you later.

Independence Day

Not feeling all that independent today. Stayed up late last night reading a fancy dead tree Mythos novel I got recently. Slept oddly, dreams that made me very confused when I woke up. Didn’t really get out of bed til around noon. Did get messages from the Musketeers, they’re safely in Scotland.

I really don’t want to leave Château Innsmouth today. So I’m just going to hang out at home. Finishing up the great rip fest of the dvds I got. I’m feeling anxious and out of sorts. I may go read, or put on a movie, I don’t know. What ever I do, I’ll try to be chill. Tentacles and chill, how to spend a day off. Ok, that’s enough rambling.

Sunday sans title

Well Sunday was pretty decent. I got up around the usual time, bummed around Château Innsmouth for a while. Headed out to hang out with friends, with a side trip to the flagship Half Price Books in Dallas. Oh lord, I went nuts, a ton of DVDs and blurays, and a number of books for the Mythos collection. I really need to get a couple of new bookcases. before my collection explodes. My credit card may be crying.

Went up to hang out with P and J Watched the 2nd and 3rd Poltergeist flicks, which I haven’t seen since I was a kid. Not great, but not bad. I remember them being much worse. Then, because we’ve inflicted a ton of bad movies on the P he picked ‘Mumford’ which was a very odd and quirky flick about a therapist in a town in major need of therapy. So not my kind of flick, but it had some funny moments, and it ended on a good note. By then I was tired and kind of icky feeling. So I took off. Was glad to hang out with my pals.

Also heard from my globe trotting musketeers. It seems Logan International is of the suck, and people in Boston are weird. They’re on their way to Iceland for another stop, then off to Scotland, Mild envy. But honestly, if I was with them I’d probably be driven to jump ship and hightail it to the British Museum for a week. And I’d miss all the other fun.

Drove home, put in one of my new purchases…and found out I’d already seen it (and wasn’t terribly impressed by it). Giving it another try, since I did spend money on it. Also ripping the other purchases for my future watching. Probably going to stay up late tonight, I’m kind of jittery. I’ve also decided to give myself a mulligan on tomorrow. I need to make a store run for missing things, and return the Redbox I got yesterday (and forgot to return today). Besides that, it could be books, it could be movies, I may even go out to the movies or out to somewhere nice for dinner. I don’t know, I’m just going to take it as it comes.

So that’s about it for Sunday’s braindump. Going to make a snack, and keep on keeping on. Take care.