Sleep? What the hell is that?

Rough week. I haven't slept a solid, or even semi-solid night since the weekend. Patching prod Tuesday generated 2 overnight calls, and a similar issue got me called on Wednesday/Thursday night. Last night I didn't get called, however I woke up anyway at 3am. Tried to go back to sleep and failed. Got up around 5am, futzed around, then got a little more sleep. Then I got up, got ready for work, got to work...found out I'd left my badge at home. Without my badge it's kind of difficult to get around Carcosa Corp, so after I drove home to get it, I said screw it and worked from home.

Last night was rough. Finishing up the non-customer facing production servers. And I had more problems with the last 4 servers than the almost 100 other servers. I ended up arguing with Nagios because the new version added weird example templates, creating phantom hosts that obviously were offline. Our cacti install just broke utterly, new version will not work with the old database. And since I didn't want to spend half the night fixing mysql issues, I rolled back to the snapshot I made before patching. (I had a bad feeling, and oh I am so glad I listened to it). *shakes head*

I'm really exhausted right now. I took a nap after I logged out of work, well mostly I just lay there and listening to the white noise generator (beach sounds). Got up again, listening to The Black Stone right now, but I'll be going back to bed soon. This weekend is a social get together tomorrow, and Sunday is probably going to see 'Murder on the Orient Express'. Plus the chores and stuff. Oh, in book news, I picked up something special. Many years ago, my uterine sibling was given a copy of 'The Collected works of Edgar Allan Poe' by a teacher. It was this epic gothic looking book, printed in the mid 20's. It really does look like something you'd read aloud from to summon 'something'. I 'borrowed' it for years, was how I got into Poe, right before I discovered Lovecraft. I eventually gave it back but I always remembered how cool it was. A few weeks ago, I decided to go hunting. All I remembered was the cover, and the approximate time it was published. After a few google searches I had the publisher, and looking on Amazon I found a copy for $20. Needless to say, I bought it. It came in today. And it's in amazing shape for a 90 year old book. Spine is pretty tight, no loose pages, a little browning, but all in all it's just about perfect. So it's sitting with some other treasured books of mine on my desk, next to my epic fancy editions of HPL, and other weirdness.

So that's this week in Vulpineland. Now, I'm going to fiddle around with some things, and probably make it an early night. Ciao.

A week of ups and downs (the ups)

And since we covered the downs a minute ago, here's what's up in Château Innsmouth. Work is going good, busy but good. I'm actually working tonight, prepatch work on our Windows servers before the Corporate Windows group does the actual updates. Unlike last time, I'm probably not staying up to 3am just in case. It's just easier for me to get up early tomorrow and check things. I've also gotten most of my usual chores done. I'm reading a bunch of good books, 'Bond: Unknown' probably the purest form of Spies vs Shoggoths. A history of Pyrrhus of Epirus (where we get the term Pyrrhic victory, among other books. I've been bouncing between subjects, a small lack of focus. So many books, so little time.

(Time passes...)

Chores are done, well done for today. Need to go to the store tomorrow, and I need to put up the dishes once they dry out. Went to pick up some dinner, came home, snagged a quick shower and going for classic Vincent Price movie, since my other picks today were less than spectacular. But I can always count on Vincent Price, especially in period horror flicks.

Windows snapshots are being taken. Not sure what I'm going to do when it's done, and 'Tomb of Ligera' is done. Maybe another classic horror flick, or hide in one of my books. I don't know. Probably go for the movie. Well a movie.

Not much in the way of plans for upcoming stuff. Friend's spawning day party next weekend, but that's about it. Next year I'm hoping to make some changes. A trip or two, probably moving out of Château Innsmouth 1.0 to a bit bigger (and better laid out) apartment. Been snagging pictures of ideas, floorplans and study/library shots. Of course, to be honest, I just need a place for a bed, a closet for clothes, kitchen, bathroom, etc and a desk for the shoggoth wrangling, the rest will probably be bookshelves. That's my style, Late Biblomaniac.

And on that note, I'm running out of words. So I'll catch you next time. *waves a tentacle*

A week of ups and downs (the downs)

Well this week was a lot more ups and downs. Lets get the downs out of the way. It's official, I'm not doing the magnetic treatment, seems that 'we figured out the insurance problem' actually meant 'oh what the hell, lets try again.' How am I doing about that? Resigned. I intentionally kept my hope to a minimum. Pshrink visit went ok, all things considered I'm handling things alright, so same meds, come back after the holiday season, unless stuff changes. Which given the silly season is their busiest time. I also had a case of unexpected sadness earlier this week. Got a wild hair to look up where my uncle's name was from, and I found his obituary from 2011. I knew he'd passed, I thought I'd mourned when it happened. But seeing his face and hearing about the good he did in his community, well I started crying. And the next day I wrote something about it on Facebook, and the tears started up again. Guess between losing my friend's dad, and seeing my uncle well, opened up the waterworks. Otherwise it's been anxiety and feeling down a good chunk of the time. I'm rather down right now. News, worries about people I care about, and my anxiety spiking up randomly. I was going to try to work on cleaning up some of the clutter in the the areas that are out of sight...but I don't have the tentacles for it, so I'll do it another weekend.

Coming very soon, a more positive post.

No title for this post, it’s from the peasant class.

Not been a good fortnight and change. We lost a friend of mine's father last week, and it's been hard. Not just seeing someone I care about hurting, but I had my own relationship with him. And I really haven't had much time to sit and process. I also have a feeling the TMS treatment is back off the table, as all I've heard from my insurance was 'denial, review, silence' and from the provider 'silence'. I have another pshrink visit on Wednesday, which means it's been a month since this got put back on the table. At least I'm not also trying to go off seroquel as well at the same time. Allergies still suck. Not much to say about that though, Texas is hell, and we're coming up on cedar fever season.

There are positives in life. Work has been busy, between database issues, patching, and schedules with my fellow admins. Averaging about 10 hour days, but that's ok. I've worked harder for people I like less. My boss is talking about sending me off for database training (probably virtually), in part due to the issues we had. Which, given my general lack of knowledge about databases would be good. Books are still my friends, even if my ability to focus is all over the place. I've started a bunch of books, but only finished a few, mostly those of favorite authors. On the movie front, I did go see the latest 'Thor' this last weekend. It's a very funny movie, the kind I wish more comic book movies would be like. (that being said, 'Black Panther' doesn't look to have a bunch of comedy, but boy does it look awesome).

No big plans coming up. Mostly I just want to take care of myself and my friend, and see what comes up after the New Year. And on that note, I'm going to call this a post. Catch you all later.

As it was written in the Scrolls of Sutekh…

Well it's the weekend again, so it means I should throw some words on virtual paper. Get the brainmeats out of the way quick, being back on seroquel means I'm sleeping more/better, but my anxiety is still way out there. (not expecting immediate fix, I know better). Depression lurks in a ninja kind of way, I see good things, I feel good things, but it leaps out every now and again in a nihilistic kind of way that reminds me that I'm still rather broken. But I've been broken before, and I've put myself together, repeatedly. I am a New Yorker after all, we're survivors.

So enough strum und drang. What is best in life Vulpine? Well, I'm not Conan, so lets start with books. Been reading a bunch of old school Mythos still. Got a pile of other stuff to read, but other than a little history it's all tentaclular horrors. Listened/ing to a few books by Charlie Stross to get in the mood for his latest Laundry File book next month. Not the whole series, just enough to get back in the series. So many books, so little time.

Went to see 'The Mummy' today. A solid bit of cheese, with a side of ham from Russell Crowe. Yes it could have been much better, but it still was fun and Sofia Boutella was a nice mix of creepy, evil, and lovely. Plus, she was literally covered in hieratic script, so a walking book. Sign me up for the cult please. *grin* Also, for any Lovecraftians who've seen it, did anyone look at the red jewel McGuffin and think 'Shining Trapezohedron' ? Or was that just me trying to make everything into a Mythos reference

What will I do tomorrow? Probably just chores and stuff. Been meaning to clean up the bedroom for months now, may just pop an audiobook or podcast in and spend a while in there trying to get things organized. This is alongside a store run, laundry and similar stuff, so I may set reasonable goals instead. Assuming I don't just hide in bed with a book, or within a movie marathon of cheese and gore. We'll see. For now though, going to call this a post before it's technically Sunday. Laters cultists.

Green Vulpine needs Hope, badly.

Well it's another week, and I'm not doing so hot. Had a relapse after last weekend, doctor called in new antibiotics which have helped. But I still feel pretty lousy. My lungs are really tight, I've been using the inhaler a bunch. It helps, but I have a feeling I need to find a respiratory specialist and get my lungs really checked out. Along with an allergist, and possibly a full body transplant specialist. So if anyone is experimenting with building cyborgs, I may be your guinea pig.

I worked from home Mon-Wed. I was told rather firmly to go home since I sounded like a TB ward. I got stuff done, but I still feel like a slacker. *sigh* Oh, I haven't mentioned it, but I have a new boss. Nothing bad, just some reshuffling above my level. Going to actually meet the guy (he works out of Atlanta, soon to be Tennessee) next week. I do kind of like having remote managers, less of the insanity of a former employer. Plus, me and my team mates just work well together, no real need for a day to day watch over us kind of guy.

Due to the relapse, I've mentally canceled most of my weekend plans. Not sure I want to leave the house, not sure I'll be able to do all the chores that are backed up either though. I really don't know. I'm going to try to get at least the minimum I need for survival, if I can do more, I will, and if I can't...well *throws tentacles in the air*

Mental health is...poor. Mom's anniversary of her passing is next weekend, and I've had lots of reminders of things in the last couple of weeks. The pneumonia is definitely NOT helping. (Her death, for those who don't know, was due to a bout of pneumonia). Add to that the world news lately, and personal issues I don't want to go into on here, I'm really not a happy fox. Seriously, I think the only reason I haven't had a full on meltdown is I'm going numb before it happens. Hiding in books, in movies. I have a pshrink visit in a few weeks, and I sense we'll be changing things.

In regards to the new news on Livejournal, I'm honestly not sure I give a darn. Not that I particularly trust the Russian Federation, but there really isn't anything on there I'm concerned about. On the other tentacle, they're no longer using SSL. That's bad, m'kay. I even tried to force it, nope redirect to port 80. Not sure how much I want to go to DW. I already have a blog, and I have a sort of copy of all my posts on LJ. But since I don't really have the tentacles to cope with a decision, I'm not going to make one just yet.

So what am I going to do this weekend? Besides at least the bare minimum of chores, I'm watching movies. Specifically right now 'The Void', which I've been waiting for with major anticipation. I also picked up both 'Alien vs Predator' movies on bluray to complete my current collection. So maybe Aliens marathon tomorrow, or something else. Or I may just read all the books. I really am just going to try to relax, hopefully my lungs will feel better, and I'll be in a better place come Monday. I can dream at least.

Checking in

Was a weird week. Spent all of my 3 day weekend home recovering. I cheerfully could have called in Tuesday or Wednesday as well, but I put on my big cultist robes and went to work. Was kind of glad to see people actually. I'm still not 100%, but I'm close (minus the perpetual allergy argument). Mood was pretty lousy though this week. Between being sick, a whole lot of negative memories rising to the surface, and reality being pretty depressing. At least my subconscious eased up on me while I was asleep, with a lack of anxiety dreams. I kind of snapped out of it this morning, as Fridays often fix the ills in my head.

As I said last post, I'll be back to patching on Sunday evening. Approx 30 servers this go-round, but I'll have at least one other admin patching, and other bodies to do support tests and verify applications. So it should be fairly smooth. Week will be a tad short, but that's ok. I still have social plans for tomorrow and for Sunday prior to patching.

So what's up in the land of Vulpine besides work and illness? Lots of books, lots of reading. For some odd reason most of what I've read has been set in London, England between 1890-1920. Originally there was no plan, but between a couple of Mythos tales, and pastiches of Sherlock Holmes and Carnacki the Ghost Finder, and another period fantasy bit I've spent a lot of mental shoe leather wandering around London. Currently reading 'Dust and Shadow' which pits Sherlock against Jack the Ripper. I'm also hoping to have a spare weekend day in the next few weeks where I feel up to finishing up on the rearranging of the Starry Wisdom Library and building of at least one new bookcase. Hopefully I'll be sans plague in time to do this before summer hits. Bedroom also needs work, but that's less pressing. Less books in there. And more work.

Ok, that's about all I have for right now. I have tons of bright ideas for posts, but usually they get detailed just as I'm getting ready for bed. I'm starting to think I need a voice recorder to ramble into so I remember these quirky ideas. For now though, I'm going to enjoy my Friday night hermit. Catch you all later.

Home, with a body

I was going to go be social with Amythest today. Woke up this morning and had exactly 0 tentacles for leaving the house. I'm trying to see if I can find some, but I really think I'll just be staying here at home.

Weird dreams again, including my agnate sibling. Something about moving, so double odd. I also dreamed more stuff that's from a city in my dreams, same place that the ur-Bookstore is in, but this is a major subway/train station, with a hub that has a lot of small shops in it. So I guess I'll be dreaming about the theater district next. Yeah, I dream about this place a lot. I wonder if I'll end up going somewhere and go 'Oh holy crap, this is that dream!'. Which, if it has the ur-Bookstore, may mean I'll finally move. My luck, it's Unknown Kadath, and Nyarlathotep will be there to mock me.

Finished one book and one serial story last night. So much Mythos. And I have much more to read. Some group funded books came in, including a collection of stories based on the writing of Ramsey Campbell, one of my favorite authors. So that should be a lot of fun. As I said yesterday, I need to do some reviews. Maybe I can knock out a few today.

Not much else, work this week should be busy. I know I'm spending a few hours tomorrow dealing with telco stuff. I'm thinking I may work from home one day so I can sit down and focus on one project from the comfort of Château Innsmouth. We'll see, I'd like to do it Friday, so I can work til late if I get into a groove, but we already have one admin on PTO that day. We'll see what the boss thinks. Ok, that's enough ramble for today. Catch everyone later. Oh yeah, enjoy your Superb Owls.

Dealing with the upcoming weekend.

Quick post about tomorrow's Inauguration of the American POTUS-to-be. I'm going to be avoiding Facebook without a ton of filters in place, and probably twitter utterly. I'm going to go head down into work and try to knock out a bunch of stuff, then leave and depending on tentacle levels either take myself out for some 'Us' time, or come home and hermit and watch comfort movies, with the above mentioned filters. I have a possible idea of posting an imperial arseload of positive stuff, things I like, books I've enjoyed, the insanity of some of the podcasts I listen to. Kind of balance out the anger, the sadness, the stupidity that will fly.

So, do whatever you feel the need to do that gets you through the night (and hurts everyone, including yourself, the least). Prepare for me being as silly and weird as possible, filter if needed. And on Monday, back to work.

(Yes, this also means I won't be discussing any insanity. If you REALLY want my opinion, and you probably don't, email/message me, I may answer on Monday.)

And when things get weird…

Going to be a weird week for me. Most of the weekend was spent in some degree of sinus pain/pressure. Worked last night on some Carcosa Corp stuff, which wasn't bad, just took a while. Today came into work a tad late, but no random stuff being broke due to last night's work. I have bad luck with making late night changes that look fine, but in the cold light of day (and customer activity) you find the errors and mis-estimates. Not today, other than adjusting firewall rules to take the additional databases into account.

The weird starts with DR testing at work this week. I'm the guinea pig, as the new guy, I've been kind of deliberately kept in the dark, so when they hand me the documentation, we can see if there are flaws in it, that someone who's familiar with the process would just be able to fill in. We'll see how well this works. I'm kind of anxious because, hey, new situation. But it should be ok, or at least be educational.

I also have a friend going in for a what's supposed to be a minor surgical procedure. All should be ok, and it should be a day procedure. But of course, I'm twitchy. Don't like my friends in hospitals. *sigh*

Add in Friday's expected political insanity, I expect the internets to be utterly awash in hatred and anger. So I'll probably avoid much discussion, set filters to maximum, and maybe spend the weekend trying to translate the Voynich Manuscript. Or go to art museums and bookstores. Or binge on cheesy 80s horror movies. Or get on social media, and find 2000 more groups from all over the spectrum to block...

So this week will be a tad challenging. But there are perks. And books, and people who care. Oh yeah, and Cthulhu. Always good to have an eldritch monstrocity that drives you insane in your corner. So on that tentacled note, I'll ramble more later. I'm going to try to post more here, get back in my blogging habit, vs miniposts on Facebook.