A Whole Bunch of Random

I've been random the last few days. So I've posted some odd stuff on Facebook. Some of it needs to be posted here as well.

Lovecraftian:
"We got the gills that give the thrills!" aka the New Esoteric Order of Dagon motto.

A new term for my clinical depression:
Oh, while listening to M.R. James' 'Count Magnus' while driving yesterday, came up with a good euphemism for 'being diagnosed (again) with depression'. 'Taking the Black Pilgrimage to Chorazin.' Seems fitting, since I came back with a follower that will never leave. Luckily (?) it rarely sucks the faces off of people. So I may start calling my swings as 'my minion from Chorazin.' Better than a black dog. I like dogs.

(don't worry, this isn't a cry for help or anything, just a random bit of brain foo. Change what you call a thing, and you change how you react. Words have power, and weird words make me feel 'better')

For those who are curious, you can find the story at the following link Text of Count Magnus

and if you just want a summary, check out The Wikipedia page on the story.

How M.R. James described me right before my Dad was born:
One more M.R. James bit. From the intro to 'A Neighbour's Landmark'. Sound like anyone you may know ? *wink*

"Those who spend the greater part of their time in reading or writing books are, of course, apt to take rather particular notice of accumulations of books when they come across them. They will not pass a stall, a shop, or even a bedroom-shelf without reading some title, and if they find themselves in an unfamiliar library, no host need trouble himself further about their entertainment. The putting of dispersed sets of volumes together, or the turning right way up on those which the dusting housemaid has left in an apoplectic condition, appeals to them as one of the lesser Works of Mercy."

It's been an odd morning, but all things considered I'm doing ok I think. Ciao.

The HP Lovecraft Film Festival

It's taken a while to write this, I think this is rewrite #3. Going for the short form this time. Had a really good time at the Film Festival. Portland as usual is the kind of city I enjoy. Good food, interesting buildings, a metro system that works, and a distinct lack of mountain cedar. Did my usual wandering, raided Powell's City of Books (Oh, my credit card bill). I also went over to the Oregon Maritime Museum and Movie Madness Video. Then, Friday night was time for the Fest...

As usual it was mostly feature films for me. So after saying hi to people I know, I found a seat for 'Necronomicon: The Book of Hell'. A flick from Argentina, that I've been wanting to see since I first heard about it. Movie about one of the copies of the Necronomicon that HPL said was kept at the Biblioteca Nacional in Buenos Aires. Creepy book tale (which themed to be a theme for me this year). Lots of fun, low budget but it worked well for me. Then again, crazed book folks hit a special note with me. Hoping it gets an international release. Next flick was 'The Rules of Ruin', another forbidden tome book, this one from Mexico. Also creepy, it didn't hang together quite as well as Necronomicon, but it was enjoyable. Again, hoping for a wider release (and a physical copy for me).

Saturday started with 'Carbload for Cthulhu' a signing event, with bagels and Voodoo donuts. (I had a quarter of 1 donut due to the evil diabetes, was good but not worth sugar coma). Met some more friends, met a number of new authors and bought a bunch of books. Then was the HPLHS presentation of 'The Shadow Over Innsmouth' as a radio play. As a card carrying member, I had to get a front row seat. Then was dinner, sushi with pals, then back to see 'Hammer of the Gods', a Canadian wilderness horror flick. The same people did 'Black Mountain Side' a few years ago, which blew me away. This was different, jarring spikes of horror, mixed with general 'oh crap this will end badly'. Really enjoyed it, will be staying out of the Canadian wilderness. Last flick for Saturday was a Japanese adaptation of 'The Shadow Over Innsmouth'. Was enjoyable, if a little slow. But it's one of those things I'd probably never get to see again, so glad I went.

Sunday started with more wandering and talking. Some folks had their wedding at the HPLFF, and they opened it to anyone who wanted to attend. Cody Goodfellow presided, I highly recommend getting married by a crazy Cthulhu cultist if you are of the inclination.

Movies were Clark Ashton Smith adaptations, one from 'Night Gallery' and two by Richard Stanley, 'Mother of Toads' (which I've seen a few times) and 'The Sea of Perdition', which isn't a direct adaptation, just using some themes and going off a really cool landscape he found in Iceland. Richard Stanley did a Q/A which was really interesting, he's a very quirky dude. I then hit my one shorts block, the NSFW set. Definitely was not safe for work, or sanity. Will never look at lobsters or mirrors the same way again. *wink* Final flick was 'Corpse' based on the King in Yellow mythos of Robert Chambers. Very psychedelic, multiple timelines that were kind of hard to keep up with, and IMHO needed a bit of editing, but it really got the creeping insanity of Carcosa (not Carcosa Corp). And with that, my fest came to a close.

*looks up* Yeah, this is the short form. I can get wordy really bloody easily. As I said, I had a blast. Saw a number of friends, made a bunch of new ones. Was already wishing it was time for the next fest before I got to the airport the next day. Many Thanks to Gwen and Brian Callahan, along with their eldritch minions for putting on one hell of a fest.

Goin’ Down to Innsmouth: Sails out of Innsmouth and home.

Final day of vacation, well not counting the day of travel coming home. And this was the heart of the vacation plan, a day long sail on a schooner. Specifically the Ardelle. I got up early, got showered and ready, and headed out. She sets sail promptly at 8, and I was NOT going to be late. The Ardelle had a crew of three, one of whom spotted my Innsmouth shirt and commented. The rest of the passengers were all sailing enthusiasts, some of whom had helped build or work the Ardelle. She's a modern ship, but built as close to the original fishing schooners used in the area as they could. I think I was only person on board who'd never sailed on sailing craft this size, (my sail boat experience is being on little 4-5 person boats), and I hadn't been out to sea on anything smaller than a cruise ship since I was a kid. Not that anyone gave me grief about being the new fish, was a very friendly bunch, crew and passengers both.

We headed away from the dock under engine, but as soon as we were out in the harbor they hoisted sail. Well one sail was hoisted by myself and another passenger. He'd done it before, and was in better shape than me. but I still managed it. Wasn't til later than I realized that it gets harder the higher the sail goes, as you're pulling more weight, not just fatigued from the effort. Really glad the sails were modern synthetics, not old fashioned canvas. Probably would make a good exercise plan...if you had the room.

So, I was on a schooner heading out around Cape Ann under sail. Sea was pretty calm, enough wind to move along nicely, and some swells to make it interesting, but not test my sea legs severely. Still don't get seasick, go me. The weather started off kind of brisk and cloudy, which felt great to me. So how did it feel to be under sail ? It was....it was amazing. Nothing quite like how it feels to go on the wind. I got lightly teased about how I was pretty much glued to the bow of the ship, just looking out with a big ol grin on my face. Pretty sure I wouldn't make the best figurehead, but who cares. Seriously, if you like water or ships, find yourself some kind of sailing tour like this and go. It's better then taking a cruise, at least in the short term.

The crew was very friendly, and relaxed. They took the ship seriously, and even when they were joking and telling stories you knew they were paying attention to everything going on. And since most of the passengers had been around the Cape Ann area, even if the crew was busy, someone was pointing out various lighthouses and islands, and history. Oh, amusement. Using the head on this ship was....tricky. Basically you pump in sea water to flush with, but there's a valve and a pump and...where you go. And the directions, while perfectly plain and descriptive, did require a few stalled attempts before I got it. It's not rocket science, but it does require some coordination and it's not like using the toilet at home. *laugh* Definitely RTFM (Read The Flushing Manual)

We stopped off in Rockport for about a half an hour. Got some snacks. Then we sailed up north to a little artist colony who's name I'm blanking on. Just stayed long enough for some of the locals to see the ship, and to get some pictures, then back out. By then the wind had died down enough that we had to go by motor. Which felt a little different, and obviously was louder. But still was a blast. Talked sailing and how he teaches sailing with the captain, basically letting the newest crewperson man the helm, without hovering, because you can't learn how these ships feel any other way, but making sure that if something goes wrong, they know they're not hung out to dry. Talked Lovecraft with one of the crew, who was the captain's daughter (No jokes please), and had just gotten back from refitting a sailing vessel in Singapore, and was working on a grant proposal to convert an old motored fishing vessel into a small research ship. Otherwise everyone mostly talked boats and ships and what to do when a fog bank rolls in when you're in a one person kayak and your forgot your compass. (short answer, don't forget your compass). Answered some questions about living in Texas, found out the unofficial state motto of Rhode Island is 'I know a guy', and had multiple people make subtle suggestions that I'd probably like living in the area better than in landlocked Dallas/Fort Worth. Very tempting thoughts there.

We then sailed down the Annisquam river, which separates Cape Ann from the rest of Massachusetts, making it actually an island. Lots of people on the water, in anything from kayaks to big motor yachts. Pretty sure we were the coolest though. *grin* Eventually we made out out of the river and into the western harbor, then sailed back to her dock. Definitely was the high point of the trip. Will seriously be going back to sail again on the Ardelle. I cannot praise this highly enough. I'm grinning now as I'm thinking about it.

Once we docked I headed back to my car. I had some vague plans to do more tourist stuff, but honestly I was pretty beat. Oh, and the clouds had broken about the time we went from sail to motor, so it got warmish. So I ended up getting some drive through and heading back to hotel. I meant to go back down to the beach, but there was a fair crowd, and I was pretty socialed out. So I spent the evening reading/listening to audiobooks, futzing around online, and playing chess. Sadly we didn't have much wind, and what we had blew the wrong way, so it was still pretty warm. Had trouble getting to sleep, as this was the first night the ocean was pretty quiet. Did go to sleep eventually...then it was morning, and I had to go home. Drove back to Boston, drove in a different way just to see more of the area. Checked in my car, (got lost trying to figure out where to check in). Took the shuttle to the terminal, got all checked in and my hair fondled by the TSA. Flight home was pretty average, and got back to my car pretty quick. Did not enjoy going back to 100 degrees. But it was nice to be home, in my own bed. Even if I had to go back to my white noise generator ocean sounds, instead of the real thing.

So, to wrap up. I had a blast. I definitely wished I had more time to explore, but I made plenty of mental (and actual) notes for the next Innsmouth visit. So many museums and points of interest in that part alone. I'm glad I stayed by the sea, even if I didn't end up swimming, there really is nothing like sleeping to the sound of waves. So yes, Virginia there is an Innsmouth, and it's pretty damn cool place. Iä Iä Dagon Fhtagn!

Goin’ Down to Innsmouth: Chapter Four – The Esoteric Order of Dagon

Friday dawned early. I'd left the balcony door open, and the curtains pulled, and my room faced directly to the east. Not that there was much of a dawn, it was a gray, overcast day. But still enough to wake me up early. Got up, got ready and headed back into Innsmouth proper. I'd looked up parking online, and found a place kind of center. Seemed a better idea to pay for a day's parking vs trying to find parking as I moved around, plus more fun to walk through the old streets and houses. So I did.

There was no plan as I went. I wanted to go to the harbor, and I had some landmarks, and stores I wanted to visit, but I just went as the mood and feet took me. Had breakfast at a crowded little diner called 'Sugar Magnolia'. Omelet (big chunks of tomato and bacon in it), potatoes and toast. Went from there to 'The Bookstore of Gloucester', which was a small but nice little shop with new books. As it my habit, I picked up a book about local history, and some postcards/art cards. Also met the store pup, Finn. A little snow white...something. Cute guy, gave me a sniff, got his pettings, then took his human out to pee (he peed, not the human... I think). I then walked to the harbor, stared out at the water for a long while (I did that a lot this trip). Saw the memorial to all the fishermen who'd died over the years. All the names that are known are written down, going back centuries, up until the 2000s. It's humbling.

On a lighter note, the various kinds of gulls around were yelling at each other, different calls. Really sounded like they were cursing each other out. After the harbor, I walked up though the town going towards one of the landmarks, the Esoteric Order of Dagon Hall (or American Legion Post #3, if you believe in such things). I would say of what I learned there, but I am bound by the Second Oath. Oddly, there's also a statue of Joan of Arc across the street, a memorial to those who fought in WWI. What's funny, I only just realized it was Joan of Arc. I was distracted I guess. From there I went The Sargent House, one of the original fancy homes in town. Old Georgian mansion, which is always a good excuse to get out of the drizzle. The house was built for a Judith Sargent Stevens Murray in 1782, she one was of the early feminists. I showed up just as a tour was starting, so I joined in. Beautiful house, lots of portraits on the walls, very cool furniture, and my fellow tour takers were big art and history nerds from NJ, so they asked tons of questions I didn't think to ask. Some books on display, including a family bible that was epic in size. Of course, it could have also been the Necronomicon, but I wasn't willing to risk it. Historians will have your arm off for offenses like that. If you're in the area, I highly recommend visiting. The tour takes about an hour, and it's worth it. I wonder if the local bus driver comes here a lot...

I'm cutting Friday off here because I've been writing for almost 2 hours, and I'm running out of tentacles. Tune in next time for stories of me semi-randomly going to another Innsmouth, wandering around Essex environs, and maybe actually finding where my port of dreams is...

Goin’ Down to Innsmouth: Chapter Three – The Call of the Deep

I headed back to the hotel, stopping by a local grocery store (Not, sadly of the First National Chain), and picked up snacks. My hotel room had a kitchenette with a fridge, so I got some fruit and cheese along with soda and chips and cookies. I read for a while til dusk set it, then I went for a walk along the private (to hotel guests and people living in the houses in the immediate area.) Sandy beach, like what I grew up with, but with a lot of small/mid sized rocks, well water worn. I'm not sure if that's fill, or that's what was original there and they brought in sand, or what. After a while, I stopped, picked a memorable spot to stow my socks and shoes. got rid of them, and walked down to the surf.

Ye gods and little fishies, it was COLD. I grew up swimming in the Atlantic, but that was a few hundred miles south, and usually later in the year...and oh yeah, not in the evening *laugh* Still, wow. But once the initial shock wore off, and my bones stopped trying to shrink around the pin in my ankle, it felt good. First 1/3rd of my life was spent within easy distance of the ocean, and I miss it. And it felt like I'd come home. I've been to the Atlantic a few times since I moved to Texas, twice in the last few years. But this is the first time I let myself to be in the water, even if it was only up to my calves. Oh, part of me wanted to go swimming. But the wiser part of me remembers that I'm not a great swimmer, that the water was bloody cold, and that swimming at night can be dangerous. Especially if you don't know the water. So ignored the siren call and just stood there. Well, not just stood. I was reminded that even in shallow water like I was in, the Atlantic will move you around. Water flowing over feet will pull sand from under you, and suddenly you're in a hole with an unexpected swelling knocking you over. So think of it as half trancing out to the sound of waves and the feel of water, and half Irish step dancing as you try to keep balance. I could feel all the negative feelings I'd had the last few months drain out. Stress, sadness, anger...all pulled out. I don't care what you believe or don't believe, in moments like that you realize why people have always loved, worshiped and feared the ocean, often all at once. Been a long time since I felt that peaceful about anything.

Stayed out there for a while, eventually decided that the cold was winning out, so I came back on land (with some regrets), listened to the waves for a while longer, then decided the mosquitoes that ignored me in the surf, decided I was fair game on land. So I beat a retreat for for hotel room, where I hid behind a mesh screen and read, finally going to bed with the ocean singing to me live, instead of from the white noise generator playing a recording of the ocean.

I don't recall if I dreamed (any of the nights I was in Innsmouth), but I haven't slept that soundly in forever.

Goin’ Down to Innsmouth: Chapter Two – Dining at the Gilman

[RAW]
Innsmouth is a town of wide extent and dense construction…(Ok, yes I know
it’s Gloucester, but this is my blog, and from here on out it’s getting called
Innsmouth). Lots of older homes and buildings, some new stuff that fits in,
and some stuff that just plain looks weird. The main streets are like
most any street USA, but if go down the side streets it gets kind of…
cramped. Especially since parking is at a premium, so everyone parks at
the curb if possible. Got turned around a bunch, (a common theme) but
finally made it to The Pilot House, which is a strange but cool mix of
American bar food, and Chinese and Japanese Food. I went for the sushi,
my usuals, plus a appetizer that was a mix of spicy tuna, avocado, and rice
with eel sauce, deep fried, with more eel sauce on top. (I’m a huge fan
of the sauce they put on freshwater eel sushi, so this was just heaven)
The waitress was
very friendly and attentive (and pretty darn cute too, nice big eyes), and the food was great. Lots of locals came in to grab take out orders, also a good
sign. I left with leftovers and a very contented stomach.



[/RAW[

Goin’ Down to Innsmouth: Chapter One – The Arrival

Ok, if I don't start writing the tale of Innsmouth, I'll just keep putting it off. So, here, we, go!

The airport and the flight out were not much to speak of. Well other than I thought I was getting a plane full of college kids who looked like they were going on spring break. Got major 'Final Destination' vibes, but luckily they were going to Cancun. I spent the flight reading, William Meikle's 'Operation: Siberia' and bits and pieces of other stuff. Got to Logan that afternoon, took a very crowded shuttle to the car rental. Got upgraded to a sedan (they were out of compacts)...and I found out that these new fangled autos are smarter than me. I literally spent 5 minutes trying to figure out how to start a push button starting system. Including Googling the url they gave me for car instructions...it's a year or two out of date. The nice lady though took pity on me and told me to hold the brake down. The more I use consumer electronics, the more I understand how Mom felt. That and if it doesn't have a CLI, it sucks. *wink*

So I fired up my phone's GPS, and headed out into Boston traffic. Within 3 minutes I was cursing to make my New Yorker brethren proud. Soon after that I was gesturing like a native. Miss a LOT of turns because Boston is laid out like any city that's grown organically for 4 centuries. (I just will not drive in London. Ever. I've heard stories) I finally got on the road I wanted, the 1A which parallels the Atlantic. Windows down, sea breeze smell, the call of seagulls over an audiobook of 'The Call of Cthulhu'. I was happy. And cursing much less. The drive took about 2 hours, with a short stop in Salem to check out a bookstore. (shocking, I know). Got to my hotel north of Gloucester (by about 5 miles), signed in, got an actual key, not a magnetic keycard like everywhere I've been in recent memory, and went up to my room.

The room itself had nothing really eye catching...well other than the view out over the Atlantic. WOW! Surf, a nice wind coming in, just what the Doctor ordered. (West, Herbert west). Unpacked, stared a lot at the water, finally decided that if I didn't eat fairly soon, I'd be snacking on a beachgoer. So I pulled up my map, and picked a place and drove back into town.

Goin’ Down to Innsmouth: The night before

Well, as of about 4:30 CDT, I went into vacation mode. Work notifications are muted, I had a fairly busy day of getting things done, or assigning tasks to other people for when I get back. Also one of my pals at Carcosa is leaving, so me and my fellow admin took him out to lunch. Busy busy cultist today.

I also woke up about 2 hours early. Since I still had packing to do, this ended up being a good thing. Redid the packing, did some around the house stuff, and went to work an hour early. Came home, watched 'Dagon', did some more packing foo, ate dinner. Thinking I'm going to hit the showers soon, then bed with book and early to sleep. Have to be up earlier than normal tomorrow for the fun and games of airport security. I won't be blogging while I'm gone, like the last couple of trips I'm not bringing a computer (or a tablet, just my phone and kindle). I'll probably ramble on Facebook though, I usually do. Then back from Innsmouth on Sunday.

So wish me safe travels, well stocked bookstores, friendly Deep Ones and fine seas. I'll try to not make the change early and swim down to Y'ha-nthlei...but if they've gotten internet you landlubbers may be out of luck *wink*

Goin’ Down to Innsmouth

Been a while since I posted on an actual blog. Part of the problem is I can't just open a term window and post to wordpress, like I used to do on Livejournal. Those were the good ol days. There are tools, but they're way overpowered, have weird access, and well...I'm just paranoid enough to worry about installing strange php scripts on servers. (Yes, I'm talking about wp-cli).

So what's been going on ? I've had some crazy mood/anxiety issues. I'm fighting it, but I'm very tired of fighting. So I'm trying a kind of Iä Cthulhu play, and taking a short vacation this coming week. Flying up to Boston, and from there driving north to Gloucester. Or as I call it, Innsmouth. Grandpa Theobald based his depiction of Innsmouth on Gloucester and the nearby town of Newburyport. So, I'm going to my city of dreams, see the 'Gilman House' and the 'Esoteric Order of Dagon Hall'. I'm also going sailing around Cape Ann on a schooner, and I'll be spending more than a little time in my old friend, the Atlantic. Will only be up there 4 days, but I hope it will be enough to reboot my brainmeats. And if nothing else, I get to check a few items off the bucket list.

Besides brainmeats and Innsmouth, I've been kind of doing the usual. My reading has kind of narrowed down to almost all history. Part of that is coping with mood problems, it's very hard to develop an emotional connection to things that happened 100/1000/2500 years ago. Which is kind of weird, as I've been binge watching 'Babylon 5' the last week or so, which is full of characters I care about. Oh well, it's still fun, even if it's made me want to cry more than a few times.

Also, I've been playing a lot of chess against the Shining Trapezohedron. I've always wanted to be a good chess player. I'm not one. But lately I've found that I can plan further ahead than before. Not much, but enough that I don't have to play the computer on the utter beginner mode, instead 1 level up for beginner. So far I'm batting .500. Which I'll take, and the small endorphin pulse I get from a win, or for even fighting a solid loss.

So, long post short, I'm struggling. But I have plans, and tools, and I'll keep on trying. Hopefully it won't a month and a half before I post again. Ciao cultists.