How am I doing?

Well it's currently Day 13 of me being diagnoses with diabetes. So how am I doing? Well, it's officially official. My bloodwork came back with confirmation of being diabetic. Which beats having something weird and esoteric in my pancreas. Been doing the blood testing twice a day per my doctor. Once when I get up, once after a meal (usually dinner or lunch). Don't like the jab, but I'm not needle phobic at all, so it's more of a 'sigh' *bleed* *move on*. Blood sugar is going down, which of course is the way we want things to be going. Yay medication and diet.

Speaking of diet, I've gone from an average of 3000 calories a day, to under 2000. How, setting limited portions, snacking on cucumbers and tomatoes a lot, and trying to be mindful of how I'm doing. The snacking urge is hard to ignore, I hate being hungry. But my stomach is shrinking a bit, and I've found stuff that works well for me. So I'm doing ok. Trying very hard to not set myself up for a fall. If I go over calories/sugars, then oh well. Try better tomorrow. I'm going to go over tonight by a bit. (I treated myself to NYC pizza, was good and only ate two slices. That was hard). But I don't have to be perfect. Just have to improve.

Otherwise, I'm kind of kerfrazzled, the vision stuff is scary, but I think my eyes have settled down to a point where I think that unless they find something else wrong, And if they do, I'll deal. Though if I stop being able to read, there will be problems. Work is stressing me, lots of meetings, lots of questions I just don't know. Company buyouts are stressful as heck. I ended up taking today as PTO to just decompress. Tomorrow and Sunday are more decompression time, need to do some more chores around the house, read, and really, REALLY try to catch up on sleep.

Speaking of reading and sleeping, I think that's what I'm going to do. Night fellow cultists (and everyone else reading this)

The Eyes Don’t Have It

Quick post. Last Thursday (a week ago), my eyes started acting up. Vision got kind of fuzzy, over the next few days my eyes changed enough that my glasses are unwearable. My distance vision is lousy, mid range is fuzzy but workable, and from arm's length and closer I'm alright. What's going on ? No idea. It could be the change in blood sugars from high to less high triggered a change in eyeball/lens shape. It happens, per some diabetic friends and some major googling. If that's it, my eyes should self correct. If not, well it could be a number of other things. Thus I have an ophthalmologist appointment on Monday to give my eyes a complete look over. They'll be able to tell if I have other eye problem, or if my eyes have just changed and I need a new 'script. We'll see Monday.

What does this mean? I haven't left the house since Sunday. I can drive, but that's a bad idea IMHO. I took Monday off from Carcosa Corp, but after that I rearranged my desktop setup at home so my computer screens are close enough to limit the eyestrain. I haven't been getting a lot done, but it's been a week of meetings, which doesn't require me to geek much. I can read, thank Cthulhu, otherwise I'd have gone nuts already. I'm listening to a lot of pdocasts and audiobooks when I'm doing other things. So I'm not crazy, but I'm definitely antsy as hell.

So, hopefully the docs can figure out a fix, and life returns to normal. My plans for this weekend are just about non-existent. I'm probably going to stick around home, read, etc. I'll be stircrazy, but not much I can do about that either way. I can at least futz around the house doing chores and stuff. And we'll see how things go after that.

Medical News

Going to start this off with the news. Unless my blood work comes back with something really oddball, I'm officially a diabetic. Over the last month or so I've been feeling I number of classic symptoms, thirst, unexpected weight loss without changing things, increased appetite, etc. So I went to the doc in the box today, and after some fun and games with getting my blood drawn, the blood stick says I have high blood sugar. Way high. So, the plan for now is to treat with meds, adjust my diet and activity levels, monitor my sugar levels for a month, then see where I am.

In real life terms what does this mean? Well cutting out my Code Red addiction, plus pretty much any other soft drinks. (I hate the taste of artificial sweeteners in soda, so diet is probably not going to be an option). Also, I need to shift my general diet over. Given I live on a pasta, this also will be tricky as heck. I'll also need to start exercising. Which should also be a bit of a trick. Oh well, I've needed to make a change, and this should be good inspiration.

So, that's what's new here in Vulpine land. Wish me luck and willpower, I'm going to need it.

DevOps is the Devil

Been a crazy week. Anxiety dreams to start, work quirkiness in the middle, and a DevOps conference at the end of the week. The DevOps thing was... odd. Not my technical ball of wax, and it wasn't aimed at the newbie. I did learn some stuff, and got random inspiration for other work stuff. Too bad the airflow sucked, and I spent most of the two days sweating like a pig. Oh well.

The weekend has been good. First, I have Labor Day off, yay three day weekends. Friday night I didn't do much besides try to cool off, then sleep. Yesterday I did some chores, and hung out with Amythest and Nymaz. Due to various job foos, we haven't hung out in a long while. Watched 'Deadpool 2' (which I didn't see in theaters) and 'Infinity War' (which I did.) Was fun, we ate pizza, laughed, chatted. And I got to pet cats. Sadly, my allergies kicked up hard...luckily I had benedryl.

Today would have been Mom's 86th birthday. So I planned today to be pretty busy. I got up fairly early, got my ducks in a row. I originally meant to go out to a place me and Mom went to for breakfast, but honestly I wasn't really in the mood. So I got to-go breakfast, and headed out. Hit a total of 4 bookstores, Recycled Books up in Denton, and 3 Half Price Bookses... Booksi? How ever you pluralize a plural. Got a nice variety of weird fiction and esoterica. Drove while listening to DART radio plays, and plotted some other stuff out while driving. Came home, by way of lunch at Jason's Deli, and took a long shower to de-sweat, and have been futzing around online and listening to audiobooks.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to take care of the remaining chores, as well as engage in more hermiting. Then it's back to work, but hopefully it will be a productive week, I have plots and plans. For now, I'm listening to a audiobook about H.H. Holmes and the Chicago World's Fair. Amazing how bonkers Chicago in the Gilded Age was.

And I've been staring at this post for an hour, so I'll call it done. *waves tentacles*

Cthulhu’s CtheeseBurger and other Weirdness

Haven't had a lot to talk about. Work is still fluid, brainmeats are still iffy. Texas is still hot as blazes. Having issues with sleep, and with waking up unwanted early (6am on a Saturday is just wrong). Though on the positive tentacle, I did get almost all my chores done. On another positive tentacle, I had lunch with some nifty friends, and was reminded that I have a pretty good burger place just down a couple of roads from me. (Fuddruckers for those who care about such things. Used to go a lot with friends, and with Mom, but in the last few years I haven't gone.) Didn't get anything fancy, a 1/3rd pound cheeseburger (provolone, cheddar and swiss), steak fries, and a grape sprite. Just what the burger desires ordered.

Post food and friends, I went to a Half Price Books, only found one book that said 'you need this'. A collection of Aleister Crowley's 'Simon Iff' stories. More interested in his idea of an 'occult detective' vs Crowleyness. I also went to B&N for the first time in a few years. Was looking for the latest issue of Fortean Times. They had an issue, from July 2017. Oops. Came home after that, had some errands I thought about running, but it's too darn hot here. Came home, chilling out. Actually, I'm kind of craving another burger (and their fries). My crazed cravings.

Plans for the rest of the weekend, maybe some more errands in the morning. Maybe working on some more reorg of Château Innsmouth. Next weekend is a three day weekend, so I'll try to balance social/hermit, along with some bookstore raiding (Half Price Books 20% off weekend). In a few weeks I'll be going back to Portland for my 2nd HPLFF. Really looking forward to the gathering of the cultists, and the fun of Lovecraftian/Weird films on a big screen. Plus the Hollywood Theater in Portland is awesome. And of course, Powell's City of Books. Hopefully by then I have a plan for what path my gainful employment will take. I can hope at least. And on that note, I'm going to call this a post.

63 Hours of Hermitage

Well, this weekend has been near maximum hermitage. Came home Friday evening, and I've only opened the door for food delivery. I reorganized the Starry Wisdom library, I've watched a lot of horror movies, read. Caught up (kind of) on sleep. Yesterday was little to no anxiety, today isn't quite as nice. Tomorrow is back to the job, with patching and probably a number of meetings about the migration. I really don't have updates from my last post on the subject. I've got a plan, and a schedule as a framework. So we'll see how it goes.

Non-work related stuff, less than 2 months til HPLFF in Portland. Looking forward to visiting Innsmouth West. This week I need to drop my car off at the dealer for general maintenance, plus the usual allergy shots. Next weekend 'Meg' gets released, giant sharks and giant squid. I'm so there. Not much of anything else in the works. Or really to talk about. So I'll call this a post.

Well I thought last week was bad

The current state of the Fox in regards to work. It's copied from Facebook, so it might not be completely coherent, or grammatically correct.

Last night:
Tomorrow morning is probably going to be interesting, in the 'may you live in interesting times' way. Cross tentacles and have kittens on standby if it goes pearshaped.

Today:
Well, I got my answers. Branch of the company I've been working at is being sold. The buyer of the branch has elected to not bring me along permanently. I will continue to work here through the migration til it is complete, or 1 year, which ever comes first. There is no guarantee I will have a position with corporate at the end of that period. If one is found, I keep working for parent, otherwise it's a severance package and a good luck in my future endeavors. .

Not doing good at all. Not one little bit. I know it's life in a big corporation, but I still feel like shit scraped off a shoe. Please no advice right now, or 'you know you're a good employee' or other well meant platitudes. The sudden reality check I just is going to be louder than anything else right now. Caring and kitten/critter pictures much more welcome.

Later today:
Working from home the rest of the day. Did figure out that these changes mean that two of my PITA projects are either going to halt or drop in scope. Also, various local people have pointed out that they're pulling for newcorp to bring me over because I'm a valuable resource (and I fit in well). So that helps. Still going to update the resume, and spend part of the new few weeks documenting out the weird stuff that only I do. In case of being run over by bus, or being thrown under the bus. *is a professional*

As for me care. Working from home for one. Ordered a cheesesteak for two. Weekend plans are probably going to be near/all hermiting because well, *gestures wildly at the last few weeks* I have shelves to put together, and the reorg of the library should be worked on, especially since I have a fancy respirator now to filter out the dust. Plus books, and movies, and probably some plotting and planning. Also, this will not affect my plans for the HPLFF. There's a mighty need for time with a large number of my tentacled tribe.

So, surviving, but frazzled.

Addendum. The powers that be at the local office are trying to convince newcorp that I'm a valuable member of the team, and to also bring me along. Which is appreciated. I'm not holding out a ton of hope, but when do I ever ? I guess we see what happens, and what I get done during the transition.

Week from Sheol

Oh elder gods and little fishies, this week has been crazy. All work foo. One, my fellow admin at Carcosa Corp was traveling for business, so 4 of the 5 days I was the lone admin. And it's patch week. And I had a large chunk of a project scheduled to go into production as of last night, with a process that i wasn't 100% comfortable with. Plus the usual daily foo. It's been rough. I haven't been sleeping solid, and I'm dragging today.

But work was pretty calm for normal sysadmin foo, my usual having to herd cats to get things scheduled for patching. And last night's big change went well. While it involved things I don't know well, databases and applications that run under Java, along with Microsoft Active Directory for the trifecta of eww, I made it all work, and I got things working faster than I estimated. So all would have been well if I'd gotten a full night's sleep. So of course I didn't. *eyeroll* At least I'm more comfortable with the whole process, now to just work out the 3rd magic step that has baffled the software vendor's support. Which I just had a small lightbulb moment about. Excuse me while I email myself.

*time passes*

Ok, note to future me sent. Will argue with it later this weekend, or Monday AM. Yay aha moments.

And with that, I think I'll end this post. Probably will be heading to bed and book early tonight. Hopefully I can get some real rest over the weekend. Night all.

Eyeballs and Books

Look, two posts in a weekend. Yesterday was the mental health day I took from work. I spent most of it watching various horror flicks, and futzing around online. Oh, and some vague chore doing at home. I'm slowly getting rid of clutter. Then I'll start on rearranging things a little better. I'm also going to pack up some of the scifi/fantasy section of the Starry Wisdom Library, and probably put it in storage. Shelf space is at a premium, and history, esoterica and Mythos has priority. (also, I have piles of books that need to be organized). Worked on that also this morning, along with more (and worse) movies.

Went to the eye doctor in the afternoon, when it was 105 out. Glad my eyeballs didn't melt. Long story short, my distance vision is a smidge better than it was, my up close vision is a tad worse. So new glasses are in my future. But otherwise my eyes are healthy, come back in year and get dilated.

Came home after that, where I ate way too many chicken tenders. I have to remember, when I have the brilliant idea 'I'll get a family meal, and I'll have 3-4 meals out of it', portion out the damn things...otherwise I keep eating them til I'm about to explode. Haven't done much else this afternoon/ evening. Rearranged a few things, made some mental notes. Found a random flat in London that is not only cool looking, but is the same building for the hero in 'The Devil Rides Out', with the same cool terrace design. But, since I haven't come into my Innsmouth gold inheritance, I don't see me relocating Château Innsmouth to the UK.

So what is Vulpine reading ? Currently I'm reading a history of the Cathars, The Lost Teachings of the Cathars by Andrew Phillip Smith. It's a reread, but given the news lately, who doesn't need a book on medieval quasi-Gnostic dualism. Enjoyable, if nothing really new to the subject. I recently finished a novella, Maniac Gods by Rich Hawkins. Unlike m y current read, this is a little more...intense. It's Lovecraftianesque cosmic horror, with the emphasis on horror. Cult does bad thing, divorced Dad tries to save his ex-wife and kid, bad things happen. Yes, this is done a lot. But Rich gleefully dives into the guts of the story and runs it at full tilt, and when you get to the obvious 'and here's more horror' he slams on brakes and does a 180 that almost hurts. Then he slowly ratchets things up...and then if you want more, go buy the book. *wink* In the bullpen is a number of other British horror novels, I may have gone a little crazy during Amazon Prime Day.

So that's about it for non-brain meats thoughts. Tomorrow I go see Denzel Washington beat people up, and then it's back to work of some stress. But I will survive. Cthulhu's told me so. (Oh yeah, and if you wonder why I have more links than usual, I changed some stuff in my ViM configuration, and this seemed a good test. Yay geeking)

State of the Fox: Brainmeats and melting.

Well, I finally finished my epic series about my trip to Innsmouth. Well, such that can be spoken without violating my oaths to Dagon *wink* Outside of my trip, there hasn't been a lot of news worthy stuff going on. My emotional foo is as it usually is, variable. I've visited the pshrink recently, and nothing much has changed from last visit. I know things aren't perfect in my brain, but I'm able to function, hold down a job, and most all the other 'normal' activities.

Work is kind of stressful. There is debate on what my role is, between local and corporate. And I'm stuck in the middle, not really knowing where I fit. Uncertainty is not my friend. It could be worse, I'm 98% sure I'll have a job either way. I just wish I knew what I'd be doing by the end of the year.

That stress, plus the way reality seems to be going, has been making my brainmeats wig out. I'm anxious, a lot. My depression is more or less the same, a little higher. I spend a lot of time at night trying to run imaginary scenarios to relax. Focus is spotty at best, even with books. I was able to focus some on playing chess, but my game has dropped rather. Luckily I can go from computer: beginner to computer: clueless, so I don't have to feel bad about being owned by a computer as much. So what am I going to do ? Well I took today off as a mental health day, got a bunch of chores done first thing this morning, and I've been watching horror flicks. Tomorrow is much the same, with an eye doctor visit in the afternoon. And Sunday is also kind of the same idea, with a viewing of 'Equalizer 2'. I'm also going to work on VM updates, low level geek stuff, remind myself that computers can be fun. Then hopefully on Monday I'm somewhere back to 'normal'.

Otherwise, life is mostly trying to survive the summer. We're in a crazy heatwave (even for Texas in July). 110 temps until next Tuesday, when it drops to a more normal 100. *eyeroll* I really wish I didn't live in crazy heat land. Though it seems that most of the US is also in crazy hot weather. I'm wondering if I could get a good internet connection in Greenland.

So that's about all I have right now. I wanted to write less brainmeats and more geek stuff, but that's what came out. I am going to try to write more often, I've even rearranged my desktop layout and vim settings to make it easier. We'll see. Via con Cthulhu everyone.