Some random thoughts. I've been having issues with sleeping, and with dreams.
I'm having nights full of broken sleep, waking up multiple times a night.
And when I do sleep, I have sad or anxious dreams and getting out of bed
is really difficult. My attempts to fix this have either involved spiking
up dopamine or serotonin before bed, or more often, going to bed earlier and
earlier. I'm starting to think this (early to bed) is the problem. Maybe I'm spending
too much time in REM sleep, where I'm mostly awake by 5-6 am, and I'm just
idling in dreaming mode, and waking up repeatedly, which make the dreams more
memorable. At least that's what my googling about sleep patterns and basic
logic comes up with. So, tonight is an experiment. Going to stay up til
about 10pm tonight (1-2 hours later than my sleep schedule lately), then take
my meds and go to bed to read a little. I'm resetting my alarm for the last
possible minute before I need to be up, so I can be at work in time for the
morning meeting. Then we see. If I don't get enough sleep, well the next
morning is the weekend, and I have no plans for Friday night. So if I'm
tired, I can fight through it. And if it helps, make notes, then try again
next week. Document all the way. And we see. If it helps, yay. If it
doesn't, well, check my theory, check my research, come up with a new idea.
That whole scientific method thing. Should do that more in my personal life.
So...I am my own experiment. Which probably isn't the best science, but it's
what I've got to work with at the moment. I do have a perfectly good
pshrink I can hand the results to after some time. We'll see. Later
I may experiment with invocations of Morpheus, Cthulhu, Hypnos, Nut and/or
Nyx. Just no self medicating, that will just in tears. Ok, wish me luck.
Monthly Archives: April 2018
To the Devil a Daughter…and more rambles
Home from work, dinner eaten, books added to catalog and shelved. Am pretty pooped after the work day. Going to go to shower, bed and book soon.
Listening to 'To the Devil a Daughter', I knew that the movie was very different than the book, but the only thing they both have is the evil priest. The good guy, Verney is made up of 3 characters in the book. And if you're looking for habit wearing hotties, well this stories has nun ;) Pretty sure I can guess why Wheatley was so torqued off at the Hammer production. It's a slow start, lots of English people complaining about France, while in France. But we got to the crazy Satanist monologing about his plan to a hero, and boy is it bonkers. Also there's a call back to the novel 'The Devil Rides Out' which makes my little geek heart happy. Still have hours to go to listen, might switch over to reading the book the old fashioned way, see if the plot runs off like a crazed hare...like the movie does.
Night all.
Listening to 'To the Devil a Daughter', I knew that the movie was very different than the book, but the only thing they both have is the evil priest. The good guy, Verney is made up of 3 characters in the book. And if you're looking for habit wearing hotties, well this stories has nun ;) Pretty sure I can guess why Wheatley was so torqued off at the Hammer production. It's a slow start, lots of English people complaining about France, while in France. But we got to the crazy Satanist monologing about his plan to a hero, and boy is it bonkers. Also there's a call back to the novel 'The Devil Rides Out' which makes my little geek heart happy. Still have hours to go to listen, might switch over to reading the book the old fashioned way, see if the plot runs off like a crazed hare...like the movie does.
Night all.
Random post surgery thoughts
Been healing, bit by bit. I'm really tired of soft foods, my stomach is
demanding things I'm pretty sure I shouldn't eat, and I'm still generally
worn down. Worked from home on Thursday, which honestly I didn't get much
work done during. Called in on Friday, watched the first 8 'Friday the
13th' movies as is traditional. Yesterday and today was more or less
the same, with more variety in movies though. Back to the office tomorrow,
with a lot of emails to check I think. Plus lots of things to do in general
that I meant to do this weekend. My TODO list is giving me more than a little
anxiety though, so many things to do, so little time. Oh well, going to
do some little things and make something for dinner, then probably spend
the evening in a book. Catch everyone later.
Survived Dental Surgery
Reply
Had the extractions this morning. Sedation dentistry is my friend, I blinked
and I went from getting wired up, to getting ready to leave. Eating a ton of
soft food, pudding, jello, and yogurt. Wanting sushi, Italian food and gyros. None of which are a good choice right now. In some discomfort/pain,
but not bad. Not feeling too loopy from the sedation either, but avoiding pushing that in any form or fashion. Plan is to work from home tomorrow, and possibly Friday. Now lets hope I heal quickly and without issue.
Vulpine faces a fear
Quick post. Remember back before I went to Providence I went to the dentist and had one tooth extracted, and a failed attempt at the second one. I was giving a referral to an oral surgeon. Well, as I'm wont to do when I'm terrified about something (dentists) I put it off. Well, that tooth is
giving me grief again. So I made an appointment with said oral surgeon, went back to the dentist for a double check, and antibiotics and pain meds. Today I went for the consult. Yep, that tooth needs to go, and oh yeah...I have another abscess that I'm probably not feeling because the other one is hurting more. So I'm going back next Wednesday to have both extracted. I brought up my anxiety, and the doctor agreed that sedation is probably better all around. Luckily I have a friend who can take a morning off to drive me around, and a job that's pretty flexible. So I'll be stoned off my ass (under doctor care) next Wednesday, and probably working from home on Thursday, while eating yogurt, pudding, Jello and other soft things. Which I already had on hand because well, I knew it was coming. I was freaked out before, I'm mostly calm now...I see next Tuesday night as being kind of rough though. But hopefully this will correct things for now, and later on I can get the rest of the work I need done. Stupid stupid dental phobia, seriously if I could change one thing I'd probably go back and tell very young me to either suck up the laughing gas or accept the scary as fuck needle, because the future is full of worse things. So yeah, any spare thoughts to buck up my courage would be appreciated. Catch you all later, hopefully with a more pleasant weekend post.