When it rains it feckin’ pours

Wake up, my right lower jaw is swollen and I’m in pain. Dental abscess is my $.20 diagnosis. I hate going to dentists, they scare me (bad experience as a young spawn). But, I have to do something. Luckily there’s an emergency dentist that’s open Sundays. Will give them a call when they open and see if they can fit me in. I’m mildly freaked out here…but the adult logical part of my brain says I’ll probably just get xrays, antibiotics to kill the infection, and pain meds so I don’t kill my liver with Tylenol. Then later the really scary stuff.

This really has been the month of medical insanity. Brain scan, allergy testing, insurance denial, and now dentists. I probably should try to get in to see the eye doctor next week to complete the set, and see how borked my finances are at that point. *sigh*

Any spare good/calm/painless thoughts or prayers would be accepted. I’m already on my anxiety meds , but this is a tad more than your basic stressors. *sigh*

Deep Ones at the Movies – Alien: Covenant

Back from ‘Alien: Covenant’. Quick review, it’s not bad. It’s not great, it’s not spectacular, but if you came for face hugs and chest bursts and general mayhem, you won’t be terribly disappointed. Could have used some peppier mid movie foo (kind of dragged), and people would have been just fine if they just stuck to the program, but people making bad decisions = a horror movie. Otherwise, it’s a travelogue. 3.5 out of 5 xenomorphs, and I’ll be buying it on bluray/dvd when it comes out.

Your basic weekly update

And it’s Friday. Thank Cthulhu. Not a bad week, but tiring. Allergy testing was…prickly. Work is work, I’m behind because I’ve been very distracted, I may log in this weekend and work a few hours on one of my projects to make up for things. Not that would be such a trial, I’d just crank up some Cthulhu music and try to get creative.

Weekend plans otherwise, going to see ‘Alien: Covenant’ tomorrow. I’ve heard some unhappy fans already, but I think I’ll be fine with it. I’m that rare breed who liked ‘Prometheus’ and found it worth repeat viewings. Will be seeing it with friends, yay friends and Xenomorphs. Otherwise I have chores to do, books to read, geeking to geek and bad movies to watch.

Not much else to talk about. Decided to stay up late tonight and watch movies, yay for cheese. Oh yeah, and mac and cheese for a late night snack. My sleep is kind of loopy lately. Oh well, I should sleep ok tonight. If nothing else, I can sleep in tomorrow if I feel like it. Night all.

Breaking News: Vulpine is allergic

Early post with breaking news. This week was allergy testing for Vulpine, 3 days of getting poked with a needle repeatedly to see what made me react. First day was ‘inhalants’ aka pollen, dander, etc. I responded to EVERYTHING but cypress trees and sweetgum. I had to ask what a sweetgum tree looked like. This includes cats and dogs, which made me sad. The fix…since I’ve been miserable for months on end, I’m taking it up a level and going with allergy shots. 2 shots, twice a week for a long while. Not fun, but probably less not fun than allergies year round.

Tuesday and today were tests for food allergies. Long story short, I could have guessed my one food allergy. Onions. For those new to this blog, onions have been my green kryptonite…if Superman found green rocks tasty. So I’ve avoided them, watched what I ate, read labels, asked friends to do weird things like make guacamole without onions. Never had an official diagnosis, and assumed ‘intolerance’ rather than ‘allergy’ because my reactions were always stomach related. Nope, it’s a histamine reaction. Whoops. So all the time I felt like ‘maybe I’m just being silly’. Nope, really allergic. Kind of took the wind out of my doctor’s sails, since I knew all where onions show up in food these days. So yeah, no random food allergies from the stuff I was tested with. Good to know.

So yeah, I’m allergic to Texas and onions. Nothing really new there, but I have a plan for the former, and experience fighting the later. Home now, looking up stuff in Providence for the Necronomicon this August. Yay food and books and cultists. More ramblings this weekend, when Vulpine encounters…Alien.

Two posts? Inconceivable!

Two posts, one weekend. No, this isn’t the 3rd sign or anything, just had thoughts in my head and want to get them down on virtual paper.

One, happy Mother’s day to all the mothers out there. I miss my Mom, and this day is hard for me, but I’m glad for all the mothers out there I know, especially the ones who think of me as family.

Two, I’ve decided that even though I’m going to be in the current Château Innsmouth for the next 7-8 months, I’m not going to bother with trying to reorganize it any further. Instead I’m going to start packing, at least the stuff I don’t touch on a regular basis. So when I am ready to move, I’m already 80% packed and ready to go.

Three, dreams last night were mixed to bad. But I did sleep pretty good otherwise. Had one good dream last night about a secret hidden culture/utopia in the current reality. Then dreams went downhill. Parent dreams, ex-friend dreams (though at least I got a kiss and a hug and a sorry in the dream), then coughing my lungs out. Gave up, got up. Trying to not analyze things. Have a number of tasks to do today, may attempt to get them done in a little bit.

Going to be a crazy week. Hopefully once I run today’s errands, I can get back to hermit/chill/vm updates. I can dream at least.

The hits keep on coming

Well, it’s been a week. Not a great week. Last weekend I felt lousy, had to miss visiting with a friend in from the Bay Area who I haven’t seen in years. *sad fox* Was out sick Monday, everything felt wrong, so I mostly just napped. Work was work, patching before a release on Tuesday, aka how fast can we do this? Pretty darn fast actually. Last night we had emergency patching for Windows servers due to the latest ransomware BS. I hate windows. Slept for crap again last night, and I’m feeling pretty foul today. Stomach is unhappy, lungs are crunchy, and I’m off most of my allergy meds for the testing next week. I’m a mess. Also, my insurance denied my first request for the new depression treatment. Now my doc and my rep are appealing it, and I know for any expensive treatments insurance will push back hard, but emotionally this is a hit. We’ll see what happens next week.

So yeah, I’m not doing hot. Mentally/emotionally I’m all over the place. Physically I covered already. At least I have Cthulhu covering the spiritual side of things *wink* Mother’s Day is tomorrow, my plan to send out a bunch of mother’s day cards to people has been delayed, I just really haven’t had the spoons to write cards. Maybe later today/tomorrow. Not thinking too much otherwise about tomorrow…hoping there isn’t a ton of emotional foo, I really don’t have it in me to cope. So here’s to not needing a ton of cope.

Not much else going on. Slowly upgrading my VM horde, at least the Ubuntu ones to 17.04. I need to look at what version of Fedora is default now, I haven’t checked in a while. And there’s the obvious windows updates. Plus movies, probably going to stick with favorites vs trying to find something new. Can’t wait for next weekend and the new ‘Alien’ movie. I enjoyed ‘Prometheus’ and ‘Alien vs Predator’, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be a fan.

So, I’ll call this a post. Hopefully next week won’t be as ick as this last one was, and maybe I’ll even make some process into feeling human again. Laters gators.

And now, the allergist.

After multiple months of insane body crap, I finally got a referral to an allergist. Had one already picked out, some friends of mine swear by him. So I went over this afternoon. Already had my paperwork filled out, like when a doctor makes it easy to do the stupid stuff quick.

Got the vitals checked, and saw the doctor within 10 min, if not less. Nice guy, chatty and has a sense of humor. Given my doctor phobia, it’s good not to stress out on meeting the guy. We went over my history, my symptoms, what I’ve done, etc. Long story short (seriously, we talked a long while.) I have allergies from hell. Seriously, I’ve seen less OMG looks from doctors telling people about cancer. So, it’s not just basic sniffles and me being a hypochondriac. The down side, besides the obvious Mt Cedar…it really could be ANYTHING. My vitamins, my diet, grass, some plant I’ve never heard of, or, more than likely, some combination of the above. On the plus side, I’m already in a lot of the habits I’ll need to be to get over this. And the ones he wants me to start aren’t out there for me. So what’s the plan ?

Week after next I do the full panel of pricks. (laugh, the only way I’m keeping my sanity is thinking like a 13 year old). 165 of them. But we’ll find out what all are the problems. If it’s non-food allergies, the next steps are shots. Lots of shots. But I can handle needs if it helps. If it’s food allergies, well I change my diet. Which, given my experience with onions, is far more palatable. I know I can change my diet. It will suck, but it’s a suck I can control.

So, we’ll see. Until then it’s more crap up my nose, gargling, and a lot of my current activities. At least I doubt I’m allergic to magnets, for that would make tomorrow SUCK.

What’s going on with Vulpine’s brainmeats

Note: this doesn’t cover my allergist visit, that’s going to be it’s own post at some point when I process that…oy.

So I’ve been kind of vaguebooking about what’s going on with my brainmeats, at least to most of the public at large. So here’s the skinny. My pshrink thinks I’m a good candidate for a ‘new’ treatment, Transcranial Magnet Stimulation or TMS. Basically, they’ve found some people with depression had neurons that don’t work as they’re supposed to, but with stimulation from a magnetic field, they can get them to fire normally, correcting the depression issue. I’ve been reading on the science, and it seems plausible. Basically, if I qualify (both under insurance and after an EEG), I’d go for daily magnetic whackings for a period of about 6 weeks. The downside is it’s crazy expensive, as in if my insurance doesn’t cover it, there’s no way I can afford it. But, if it’s covered by insurance, and it does what it says it does, I may have my depression and anxiety in remission. Note, I didn’t say cured. They don’t say cured. I could need follow ups, and it’s not a magic pill. But it gives enough hope that I’m willing to try.

Friday AM I go in for my brain scan, if I get pictures of said brain I’ll post them. From there, it depends on if I fit the pattern needed, and if insurance covers it, then it’s a lot of magnetic waves into my brain. (insert joke about uncovering dormant mental powers) Then…we hope.

I know exactly one person who’s had this treatment, who said it worked until his insurance screwed him royally. I’m hoping for no insurance screwage. I’m also hoping that this might just be the light at the end of a very long tunnel. I’m tired, I’m tired of all the meds, I’m tired of the side effects, I’m tired of finding myself idly contemplating my own mortality. (No, not suicidal, don’t worry, just tired). So tomorrow is a first step. Wish me luck, prayers, crossed anythings, whatever.

Putting the meat suit in its place

Stuff is going on. Had my pshrink visit this week. Trying a new med, and possibly a new kind of treatment plan. I’m not going into details yet, mostly because I’m still turning things over in my brain and doing research. As usual, I’m hopeful and scared to hope at the same time. But that’s depression in a nutshell.

Work is well, work. Patchfest round one is finished for the quarter. Round two will be part this week, and part the week after. It’s going be crazy, but I shall survive. It’s one of those specialty things. Make all the servers bend to my will, and evolve. Plus I’ll have a number of other tasks starting next week, but I can get it all done.

Today I went to see some friends. Stupid allergies and nasal drip is driving me crazy. I need to get the referral to an allergist this next week, so maybe I can get this under control too. I can dream at least. But it was good to see people. Social anxiety sucks on top of everything else I’ve got going on this year. But, I’m in charge of this damn meat suit, and it will start to fucking listen to me.

Well, that got a little intense. But it’s true. So wish me luck on getting things back the way I want them. *crosses tentacles*

Quick post

I keep meaning to blog, but it turns into a complaint fest that I save, and never get back to. I’m still not feeling good, physically or mentally. I’ve had stressful work days (still like the job, I work with good people), computer issues at home, and a whole mess of miscommunications. If I could pull a mega-hermit and never leave Château Innsmouth, I would be seriously tempted. But, I can’t, so I won’t. Plus, I do miss my friends, so no haunted mansions outside of town for me. Glad it’s Friday either way. Tonight is bad movies and early to bed. Hopefully this weekend will be a change of mood, and next week will be better. I can dream at least.