I headed back to the hotel, stopping by a local grocery store (Not, sadly of the First National Chain), and picked up snacks. My hotel room had a kitchenette with a fridge, so I got some fruit and cheese along with soda and chips and cookies. I read for a while til dusk set it, then I went for a walk along the private (to hotel guests and people living in the houses in the immediate area.) Sandy beach, like what I grew up with, but with a lot of small/mid sized rocks, well water worn. I'm not sure if that's fill, or that's what was original there and they brought in sand, or what. After a while, I stopped, picked a memorable spot to stow my socks and shoes. got rid of them, and walked down to the surf.
Ye gods and little fishies, it was COLD. I grew up swimming in the Atlantic, but that was a few hundred miles south, and usually later in the year...and oh yeah, not in the evening *laugh* Still, wow. But once the initial shock wore off, and my bones stopped trying to shrink around the pin in my ankle, it felt
good. First 1/3rd of my life was spent within easy distance of the ocean,
and I miss it. And it felt like I'd come home. I've been to the Atlantic a
few times since I moved to Texas, twice in the last few years. But this is
the first time I let myself to be in the water, even if it was only up to
my calves. Oh, part of me wanted to go swimming. But the wiser part of me
remembers that I'm not a great swimmer, that the water was bloody cold, and
that swimming at night can be dangerous. Especially if you don't know
the water. So ignored the siren call and just stood there. Well, not just
stood. I was reminded that even in shallow water like I was in, the Atlantic
will move you around. Water flowing over feet will pull sand from under you,
and suddenly you're in a hole with an unexpected swelling knocking you over.
So think of it as half trancing out to the sound of waves and the feel of
water, and half Irish step dancing as you try to keep balance. I could
feel all the negative feelings I'd had the last few months drain out.
Stress, sadness, anger...all pulled out. I don't care what you believe
or don't believe, in moments like that you realize why people have always
loved, worshiped and feared the ocean, often all at once. Been a long
time since I felt that peaceful about anything.
Stayed out there for a while, eventually decided that the cold was winning
out, so I came back on land (with some regrets), listened to the waves
for a while longer, then decided the mosquitoes that ignored me in the
surf, decided I was fair game on land. So I beat a retreat for for hotel
room, where I hid behind a mesh screen and read, finally going to bed
with the ocean singing to me live, instead of from the white noise generator
playing a recording of the ocean.
I don't recall if I dreamed (any of the nights I was in Innsmouth), but
I haven't slept that soundly in forever.