All the spy Mythos fiction out there, with all the different secret/black agencies, SPECTRA, The Laundry, Delta Green, The Black Chamber(s), etc... In all the various countries and treaty alliances and such. all exist in a very weird world in my head. All the contradictions and negative opinions are just a long series of disinformation and inter-agency/inter-ally/inter-enemy squabbling. They all work for the same master spy. Hotep. Nyarlat-hotep. He likes his minds shaken, not stirred. (Thanks to Douglas Wynne for the original inspiration for this post, and for the quirky dudes in SPECTRA) (Yep, I have one of my own. A small. sub branch of the US Office of Naval Intelligence (pun intended) tasked with keeping a dialog open with certain aquatic powers that woke up one day and found their favorite little village of hybrids was gone, and got a tad annoyed. Luckily, Deep Ones are nothing if not practical and a deal was struck. What kind of deal...well that's above your security clearance Senator. Some day I really should come up with a cool code name for this bit of mental rambling on my part)

Nightmares, anxiety dreams, and me

I'm getting tired of dreaming. Another night of a dream hitting me right in my anxiety. Last night was more BS about friends being their bizarro world opposites, and something about buying a moving truck. Maybe I was moving into the house of the occultist that I dreamed about the night before (after my more horrible nightmares). I don't remember the last night I didn't have an upsetting dream. *grumble*

I'm not sure what my brainmeats are trying to process. I think it's just the time...this time last year was epic stressors. Maybe it's just echos of that. I don't know. I just know that sleep is not my friend right now.

Can't I just dream of a cyclopean city rising from the depths, or a serial killer with knives for fingers, or a guy with a snake head. Or, more me, falling behind the walls and running from zombies. (reoccuring nightmare I had as a little kid). So much better than the current set. Oh well, it will pass eventually. Talk to you all later.

State of the Fox

Another week has ended. Been a less than stellar week. Bad. stressful dreams, anniversaries of bad things happening to good people, and me finding myself low on cope and temper. At least I managed to knock out a ton of out of date tickets today at Carcosa Corp.

I've been more vocal on Facebook, it's easier to spit out a one liner. And since I don't have ssh access to remote from Carcosa, my usual workflow for LJ/Wordpress doesn't work. Plus I spend a lot more time writing these things than I do FB. Not leaving here though, it's just probably going to be a weekend posting vs daily the way I was. We'll see.

Had my quarterly pshrink visit, things are pretty normal. I do need to get a yearly physical before my next visit. Shouldn't be a problem. I may even try to find a GP vs going to Carenow for everything. Need to take better care of myself I think.

I've also offically decided to turn my gamer system into a new Linux workstation. I've picked up some additional RAM, and a new SSD and platter drive (6 TB for the price of 5). Next weekend I'll put my friends at Dallas Computer Consulting to work and have them install all the bits and test things, then I'll do the OS side of things. Then I'll probably spend the next weekend tweaking all the tweaks, importing everything and testing. If all goes according to plan, it will be a nearly seamless swap of systems (I'll leave oldDagon running for a while in case my plans fail). Then oldDagon will be repurposed as a home/backup server. Yay nerdery. For those who care, I'll be moving back to Ubuntu's Mate flavor from Linux Mint. Mostly so I can play the newer stuff coming in 16.04 next month. I'll probably reinstall Hydra at some point to go back to Linux Mint. Note, this has nothing to do with the security issues they've had. I just feel a need to move stuff around. I'm also pondering going to a more cutting edge kernel, instead of sticking with the Ubuntu defaults. We'll see how everything works first.

Weekend plans? Tonight is my usual, with a side of laundry to catch up on bedsheets. Tomorrow is a few errands,then social time with friends. Bad movies and pizza and stuff. Sunday is more laundry and more friend time. High content of resting. I also have books to read, so many books.

So that's the state of the fox, I'm not my best, but better than say a year ago. Hopefully after this weekend things will swing up again. It should. I have faith.