October hasn't been what I'd call a great month. Work is lots of stress,
lots of change and not a lot of concrete stuff. I'm officially a Subject
Matter Expert for something I really do not to be involved in, but I am
the guy with the most knowledge ATM. At least the project is a complete
new build out, so hopefully I can do it right from the start.
I turned 46. I still don't feel 46. What the hell happened? I'll buy
my 30's, since I can at least keep my checkbook balanced. Oh well. On my
spawning day I went and saw a screening of 'Prince of Darkness' at the
Alamo Drafthouse. Good way to spend the end of my spawning day.
Last night I went to the wake of a friend of mine from college. Saw a lot
of people I haven't seen in too many years. Lots of stories, laughs, tears.
I have a lot of stuff in my head that I have to process. Don't worry,
nothing bad, just stuff in my life and how I view my life I think I need to
change. I'm also sorry it took a friend dying for me to reach out and see
those friends from my past. *sad*
Health wise, things are mixed. When I'm mindful of my eating, and my
stress isn't super high, my bloodsugars are hovering a smidge above normal.
When the stress kicks in, or I do something stupid like eat too much pizza
(aka today), they're all over the place. My dealings with CareNow have
sunk to a new low, I need to find a GP so I don't have to deal with
unprofessional medical staff. I have a couple of leads from people I trust,
so that's good. Depression/anxiety and stress is making the brainmeats
tricky to manage, along with constant focusing on my blood sugar and how
my eyes are acting. *yawn* I also am having issues sleeping solid, stress
is for the feckin birds.
So what's coming up ? A follow up eye-doctor visit on Wednesday, then
after that I hope to have stable enough vision to get my normal bifocal
glasses. Various work projects, next weekend is more social time, and
going to see some classic horror flicks next Sunday. Mostly though, I'm
just going to be trying to keep the anxiety/stress levels from hitting
peak levels again. *crosses tentacles*
It's taken a while to write this, I think this is rewrite #3. Going for the
short form this time. Had a really good time at the Film Festival. Portland
as usual is the kind of city I enjoy. Good food, interesting buildings,
a metro system that works, and a distinct lack of mountain cedar. Did
my usual wandering, raided Powell's City of Books (Oh, my credit card
bill). I also went over to the Oregon Maritime Museum and Movie Madness
Video. Then, Friday night was time for the Fest...
As usual it was mostly feature films for me. So after saying hi to people
I know, I found a seat for 'Necronomicon: The Book of Hell'. A flick from
Argentina, that I've been wanting to see since I first heard about it.
Movie about one of the copies of the Necronomicon that HPL said was kept
at the Biblioteca Nacional in Buenos Aires. Creepy book tale (which
themed to be a theme for me this year). Lots of fun, low budget but
it worked well for me. Then again, crazed book folks hit a special note
with me. Hoping it gets an international release. Next flick was 'The
Rules of Ruin', another forbidden tome book, this one from Mexico. Also
creepy, it didn't hang together quite as well as Necronomicon, but it was
enjoyable. Again, hoping for a wider release (and a physical copy for me).
Saturday started with 'Carbload for Cthulhu' a signing event, with bagels
and Voodoo donuts. (I had a quarter of 1 donut due to the evil diabetes,
was good but not worth sugar coma). Met some more friends, met a number
of new authors and bought a bunch of books. Then was the HPLHS presentation
of 'The Shadow Over Innsmouth' as a radio play. As a card carrying member,
I had to get a front row seat. Then was dinner, sushi with pals, then back
to see 'Hammer of the Gods', a Canadian wilderness horror flick. The same
people did 'Black Mountain Side' a few years ago, which blew me away. This
was different, jarring spikes of horror, mixed with general 'oh crap this
will end badly'. Really enjoyed it, will be staying out of the Canadian
wilderness. Last flick for Saturday was a Japanese adaptation of 'The Shadow
Over Innsmouth'. Was enjoyable, if a little slow. But it's one of those
things I'd probably never get to see again, so glad I went.
Sunday started with more wandering and talking. Some folks had their
wedding at the HPLFF, and they opened it to anyone who wanted to attend.
Cody Goodfellow presided, I highly recommend getting married by a crazy
Cthulhu cultist if you are of the inclination.
Movies were Clark Ashton Smith adaptations, one from 'Night Gallery' and two
by Richard Stanley, 'Mother of Toads' (which I've seen a few times) and 'The
Sea of Perdition', which isn't a direct adaptation, just using some themes
and going off a really cool landscape he found in Iceland. Richard Stanley
did a Q/A which was really interesting, he's a very quirky dude. I then
hit my one shorts block, the NSFW set. Definitely was not safe for work,
or sanity. Will never look at lobsters or mirrors the same way again.
*wink* Final flick was 'Corpse' based on the King in Yellow mythos of
Robert Chambers. Very psychedelic, multiple timelines that were kind of
hard to keep up with, and IMHO needed a bit of editing, but it really got
the creeping insanity of Carcosa (not Carcosa Corp). And with that, my fest came
to a close.
*looks up* Yeah, this is the short form. I can get wordy really bloody
easily. As I said, I had a blast. Saw a number of friends, made a bunch
of new ones. Was already wishing it was time for the next fest before I
got to the airport the next day. Many Thanks to Gwen and Brian Callahan,
along with their eldritch minions for putting on one hell of a fest.
Quick post, I've hit 46 cycles around the flaming ball of death in the sky. Working from home today, not getting a lot done. Distracted fox is distracted. Tonight I'm
going to a local screening of Prince of Darkness. Normally I won't go to a movie during the work week, but that's one of my top 5 movies, and it's showing on a big screen on my Spawning Day, so if that's not a sign, nothing is. So tomorrow I'll probably be dragging. But it will be worth it. I also still owe a post about the HPLFF, maybe
this weekend. Assuming my anxiety drops a notch or two. But until then, happy spawning day to me :)
Flew back in today. My brain has been reduced to something akin to tapioca, early wake up, flying, having my bag searched because of eldritch objects, and a screaming child two seats away. But that's just the return journey, the rest of the trip was gloriously fun. Movies, books, friends, good food, things with tentacles. Friends with tentacles. I'll write up a more detailed post probably this weekend. For now though, I'll try to regrow some tentacles for returning to Carcosa Corp tomorrow, and probably go to bad way early.
Heading out to Portland in a few hours, for the HP Lovecraft Film Festival. Very much looking forward to it, hoping for an
easy trip (I have a sinus infection, and that's making me a tad nervous about flying). Lovecraftian movies and people, book raid on Powell's City of Books, and some rather good food. So wish me luck, and I'll post again after I get back, and fill you all in on the eldritch details.
Good news everybody. The eye doctor said my eyes are quite healthy, no signs of any issues from the diabetes, other than my vision prescription has changed rather dramatically. And since my blood sugars aren’t stable yet, they may change yet more. So I have a new ‘script for glasses, and found a place that could get me distance glasses made today. So I’ll use these ‘cheap’ glasses til we’re sure my script won’t change again crazily, then I’ll get my bifocals made. For now thought, I’m going to go rest my tired eyes, at least until the damn dilation goes away. *blinkblink*
Well it's currently Day 13 of me being diagnoses with diabetes. So how
am I doing? Well, it's officially official. My bloodwork came back with
confirmation of being diabetic. Which beats having something weird and
esoteric in my pancreas. Been doing the blood testing twice a day per
my doctor. Once when I get up, once after a meal (usually dinner or
lunch). Don't like the jab, but I'm not needle phobic at all, so it's more
of a 'sigh' *bleed* *move on*. Blood sugar is going down, which of course
is the way we want things to be going. Yay medication and diet.
Speaking of diet, I've gone from an average of 3000 calories a day, to under
2000. How, setting limited portions, snacking on cucumbers and tomatoes a
lot, and trying to be mindful of how I'm doing. The snacking urge is hard
to ignore, I hate being hungry. But my stomach is shrinking a bit, and
I've found stuff that works well for me. So I'm doing ok. Trying very hard
to not set myself up for a fall. If I go over calories/sugars, then oh
well. Try better tomorrow. I'm going to go over tonight by a bit. (I
treated myself to NYC pizza, was good and only ate two slices. That was
hard). But I don't have to be perfect. Just have to improve.
Otherwise, I'm kind of kerfrazzled, the vision stuff is scary, but I think
my eyes have settled down to a point where I think that unless they find
something else wrong, And if they do, I'll deal. Though if I stop being
able to read, there will be problems. Work is stressing me, lots of
meetings, lots of questions I just don't know. Company buyouts are
stressful as heck. I ended up taking today as PTO to just decompress.
Tomorrow and Sunday are more decompression time, need to do some more
chores around the house, read, and really, REALLY try to catch up on sleep.
Speaking of reading and sleeping, I think that's what I'm going to do.
Night fellow cultists (and everyone else reading this)
Quick post. Last Thursday (a week ago), my eyes started acting up. Vision
got kind of fuzzy, over the next few days my eyes changed enough that my
glasses are unwearable. My distance vision is lousy, mid range is fuzzy
but workable, and from arm's length and closer I'm alright. What's going
on ? No idea. It could be the change in blood sugars from high to less
high triggered a change in eyeball/lens shape. It happens, per some diabetic
friends and some major googling. If that's it, my eyes should self correct.
If not, well it could be a number of other things. Thus I have an
ophthalmologist appointment on Monday to give my eyes a complete look over.
They'll be able to tell if I have other eye problem, or if my eyes have just
changed and I need a new 'script. We'll see Monday.
What does this mean? I haven't left the house since Sunday. I can drive,
but that's a bad idea IMHO. I took Monday off from Carcosa Corp, but after
that I rearranged my desktop setup at home so my computer screens are close
enough to limit the eyestrain. I haven't been getting a lot done, but it's
been a week of meetings, which doesn't require me to geek much. I can read,
thank Cthulhu, otherwise I'd have gone nuts already. I'm listening to a lot
of pdocasts and audiobooks when I'm doing other things. So I'm not crazy, but
I'm definitely antsy as hell.
So, hopefully the docs can figure out a fix, and life returns to normal. My
plans for this weekend are just about non-existent. I'm probably going
to stick around home, read, etc. I'll be stircrazy, but not much I can do
about that either way. I can at least futz around the house doing chores
and stuff. And we'll see how things go after that.
Been a crazy week. Anxiety dreams to start, work quirkiness in the middle,
and a DevOps conference at the end of the week. The DevOps thing was...
odd. Not my technical ball of wax, and it wasn't aimed at the newbie.
I did learn some stuff, and got random inspiration for other work stuff.
Too bad the airflow sucked, and I spent most of the two days sweating
like a pig. Oh well.
The weekend has been good. First, I have Labor Day off, yay three day
weekends. Friday night I didn't do much besides try to cool off, then
sleep. Yesterday I did some chores, and hung out with Amythest and Nymaz.
Due to various job foos, we haven't hung out in a long while. Watched
'Deadpool 2' (which I didn't see in theaters) and 'Infinity War' (which I
did.) Was fun, we ate pizza, laughed, chatted. And I got to pet cats.
Sadly, my allergies kicked up hard...luckily I had benedryl.
Today would have been Mom's 86th birthday. So I planned today to be pretty
busy. I got up fairly early, got my ducks in a row. I originally meant to
go out to a place me and Mom went to for breakfast, but honestly I wasn't
really in the mood. So I got to-go breakfast, and headed out. Hit a
total of 4 bookstores, Recycled Books up in Denton, and 3 Half Price Bookses...
Booksi? How ever you pluralize a plural. Got a nice variety of weird
fiction and esoterica. Drove while listening to DART radio plays, and plotted
some other stuff out while driving. Came home, by way of lunch at Jason's
Deli, and took a long shower to de-sweat, and have been futzing around
online and listening to audiobooks.
Tomorrow I'm going to try to take care of the remaining chores, as well
as engage in more hermiting. Then it's back to work, but hopefully it will
be a productive week, I have plots and plans. For now, I'm listening to
a audiobook about H.H. Holmes and the Chicago World's Fair. Amazing how
bonkers Chicago in the Gilded Age was.
And I've been staring at this post for an hour, so I'll call it done.
Haven't had a lot to talk about. Work is still fluid, brainmeats are still
iffy. Texas is still hot as blazes. Having issues with sleep, and with
waking up unwanted early (6am on a Saturday is just wrong). Though on
the positive tentacle, I did get almost all my chores done. On another
positive tentacle, I had lunch with some nifty friends, and was reminded
that I have a pretty good burger place just down a couple of roads from
me. (Fuddruckers for those who care about such things. Used to go a lot
with friends, and with Mom, but in the last few years I haven't gone.)
Didn't get anything fancy, a 1/3rd pound cheeseburger (provolone, cheddar
and swiss), steak fries, and a grape sprite. Just what the burger desires
Post food and friends, I went to a Half Price Books, only found one book
that said 'you need this'. A collection of Aleister Crowley's 'Simon Iff'
stories. More interested in his idea of an 'occult detective' vs Crowleyness.
I also went to B&N for the first time in a few years. Was looking for
the latest issue of Fortean Times. They had an issue, from July 2017.
Oops. Came home after that, had some errands I thought about running,
but it's too darn hot here. Came home, chilling out. Actually, I'm
kind of craving another burger (and their fries). My crazed cravings.
Plans for the rest of the weekend, maybe some more errands in the morning.
Maybe working on some more reorg of Château Innsmouth. Next weekend
is a three day weekend, so I'll try to balance social/hermit, along with
some bookstore raiding (Half Price Books 20% off weekend). In a few
weeks I'll be going back to Portland for my 2nd HPLFF. Really looking
forward to the gathering of the cultists, and the fun of Lovecraftian/Weird
films on a big screen. Plus the Hollywood Theater in Portland is awesome.
And of course, Powell's City of Books. Hopefully by then I have a plan
for what path my gainful employment will take. I can hope at least. And
on that note, I'm going to call this a post.