Breaking News: Vulpine is allergic

Early post with breaking news. This week was allergy testing for Vulpine, 3 days of getting poked with a needle repeatedly to see what made me react. First day was ‘inhalants’ aka pollen, dander, etc. I responded to EVERYTHING but cypress trees and sweetgum. I had to ask what a sweetgum tree looked like. This includes cats and dogs, which made me sad. The fix…since I’ve been miserable for months on end, I’m taking it up a level and going with allergy shots. 2 shots, twice a week for a long while. Not fun, but probably less not fun than allergies year round.

Tuesday and today were tests for food allergies. Long story short, I could have guessed my one food allergy. Onions. For those new to this blog, onions have been my green kryptonite…if Superman found green rocks tasty. So I’ve avoided them, watched what I ate, read labels, asked friends to do weird things like make guacamole without onions. Never had an official diagnosis, and assumed ‘intolerance’ rather than ‘allergy’ because my reactions were always stomach related. Nope, it’s a histamine reaction. Whoops. So all the time I felt like ‘maybe I’m just being silly’. Nope, really allergic. Kind of took the wind out of my doctor’s sails, since I knew all where onions show up in food these days. So yeah, no random food allergies from the stuff I was tested with. Good to know.

So yeah, I’m allergic to Texas and onions. Nothing really new there, but I have a plan for the former, and experience fighting the later. Home now, looking up stuff in Providence for the Necronomicon this August. Yay food and books and cultists. More ramblings this weekend, when Vulpine encounters…Alien.

Two posts? Inconceivable!

Two posts, one weekend. No, this isn’t the 3rd sign or anything, just had thoughts in my head and want to get them down on virtual paper.

One, happy Mother’s day to all the mothers out there. I miss my Mom, and this day is hard for me, but I’m glad for all the mothers out there I know, especially the ones who think of me as family.

Two, I’ve decided that even though I’m going to be in the current Château Innsmouth for the next 7-8 months, I’m not going to bother with trying to reorganize it any further. Instead I’m going to start packing, at least the stuff I don’t touch on a regular basis. So when I am ready to move, I’m already 80% packed and ready to go.

Three, dreams last night were mixed to bad. But I did sleep pretty good otherwise. Had one good dream last night about a secret hidden culture/utopia in the current reality. Then dreams went downhill. Parent dreams, ex-friend dreams (though at least I got a kiss and a hug and a sorry in the dream), then coughing my lungs out. Gave up, got up. Trying to not analyze things. Have a number of tasks to do today, may attempt to get them done in a little bit.

Going to be a crazy week. Hopefully once I run today’s errands, I can get back to hermit/chill/vm updates. I can dream at least.

The hits keep on coming

Well, it’s been a week. Not a great week. Last weekend I felt lousy, had to miss visiting with a friend in from the Bay Area who I haven’t seen in years. *sad fox* Was out sick Monday, everything felt wrong, so I mostly just napped. Work was work, patching before a release on Tuesday, aka how fast can we do this? Pretty darn fast actually. Last night we had emergency patching for Windows servers due to the latest ransomware BS. I hate windows. Slept for crap again last night, and I’m feeling pretty foul today. Stomach is unhappy, lungs are crunchy, and I’m off most of my allergy meds for the testing next week. I’m a mess. Also, my insurance denied my first request for the new depression treatment. Now my doc and my rep are appealing it, and I know for any expensive treatments insurance will push back hard, but emotionally this is a hit. We’ll see what happens next week.

So yeah, I’m not doing hot. Mentally/emotionally I’m all over the place. Physically I covered already. At least I have Cthulhu covering the spiritual side of things *wink* Mother’s Day is tomorrow, my plan to send out a bunch of mother’s day cards to people has been delayed, I just really haven’t had the spoons to write cards. Maybe later today/tomorrow. Not thinking too much otherwise about tomorrow…hoping there isn’t a ton of emotional foo, I really don’t have it in me to cope. So here’s to not needing a ton of cope.

Not much else going on. Slowly upgrading my VM horde, at least the Ubuntu ones to 17.04. I need to look at what version of Fedora is default now, I haven’t checked in a while. And there’s the obvious windows updates. Plus movies, probably going to stick with favorites vs trying to find something new. Can’t wait for next weekend and the new ‘Alien’ movie. I enjoyed ‘Prometheus’ and ‘Alien vs Predator’, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be a fan.

So, I’ll call this a post. Hopefully next week won’t be as ick as this last one was, and maybe I’ll even make some process into feeling human again. Laters gators.

And now, the allergist.

After multiple months of insane body crap, I finally got a referral to an allergist. Had one already picked out, some friends of mine swear by him. So I went over this afternoon. Already had my paperwork filled out, like when a doctor makes it easy to do the stupid stuff quick.

Got the vitals checked, and saw the doctor within 10 min, if not less. Nice guy, chatty and has a sense of humor. Given my doctor phobia, it’s good not to stress out on meeting the guy. We went over my history, my symptoms, what I’ve done, etc. Long story short (seriously, we talked a long while.) I have allergies from hell. Seriously, I’ve seen less OMG looks from doctors telling people about cancer. So, it’s not just basic sniffles and me being a hypochondriac. The down side, besides the obvious Mt Cedar…it really could be ANYTHING. My vitamins, my diet, grass, some plant I’ve never heard of, or, more than likely, some combination of the above. On the plus side, I’m already in a lot of the habits I’ll need to be to get over this. And the ones he wants me to start aren’t out there for me. So what’s the plan ?

Week after next I do the full panel of pricks. (laugh, the only way I’m keeping my sanity is thinking like a 13 year old). 165 of them. But we’ll find out what all are the problems. If it’s non-food allergies, the next steps are shots. Lots of shots. But I can handle needs if it helps. If it’s food allergies, well I change my diet. Which, given my experience with onions, is far more palatable. I know I can change my diet. It will suck, but it’s a suck I can control.

So, we’ll see. Until then it’s more crap up my nose, gargling, and a lot of my current activities. At least I doubt I’m allergic to magnets, for that would make tomorrow SUCK.

What’s going on with Vulpine’s brainmeats

Note: this doesn’t cover my allergist visit, that’s going to be it’s own post at some point when I process that…oy.

So I’ve been kind of vaguebooking about what’s going on with my brainmeats, at least to most of the public at large. So here’s the skinny. My pshrink thinks I’m a good candidate for a ‘new’ treatment, Transcranial Magnet Stimulation or TMS. Basically, they’ve found some people with depression had neurons that don’t work as they’re supposed to, but with stimulation from a magnetic field, they can get them to fire normally, correcting the depression issue. I’ve been reading on the science, and it seems plausible. Basically, if I qualify (both under insurance and after an EEG), I’d go for daily magnetic whackings for a period of about 6 weeks. The downside is it’s crazy expensive, as in if my insurance doesn’t cover it, there’s no way I can afford it. But, if it’s covered by insurance, and it does what it says it does, I may have my depression and anxiety in remission. Note, I didn’t say cured. They don’t say cured. I could need follow ups, and it’s not a magic pill. But it gives enough hope that I’m willing to try.

Friday AM I go in for my brain scan, if I get pictures of said brain I’ll post them. From there, it depends on if I fit the pattern needed, and if insurance covers it, then it’s a lot of magnetic waves into my brain. (insert joke about uncovering dormant mental powers) Then…we hope.

I know exactly one person who’s had this treatment, who said it worked until his insurance screwed him royally. I’m hoping for no insurance screwage. I’m also hoping that this might just be the light at the end of a very long tunnel. I’m tired, I’m tired of all the meds, I’m tired of the side effects, I’m tired of finding myself idly contemplating my own mortality. (No, not suicidal, don’t worry, just tired). So tomorrow is a first step. Wish me luck, prayers, crossed anythings, whatever.

Putting the meat suit in its place

Stuff is going on. Had my pshrink visit this week. Trying a new med, and possibly a new kind of treatment plan. I’m not going into details yet, mostly because I’m still turning things over in my brain and doing research. As usual, I’m hopeful and scared to hope at the same time. But that’s depression in a nutshell.

Work is well, work. Patchfest round one is finished for the quarter. Round two will be part this week, and part the week after. It’s going be crazy, but I shall survive. It’s one of those specialty things. Make all the servers bend to my will, and evolve. Plus I’ll have a number of other tasks starting next week, but I can get it all done.

Today I went to see some friends. Stupid allergies and nasal drip is driving me crazy. I need to get the referral to an allergist this next week, so maybe I can get this under control too. I can dream at least. But it was good to see people. Social anxiety sucks on top of everything else I’ve got going on this year. But, I’m in charge of this damn meat suit, and it will start to fucking listen to me.

Well, that got a little intense. But it’s true. So wish me luck on getting things back the way I want them. *crosses tentacles*

Quick post

I keep meaning to blog, but it turns into a complaint fest that I save, and never get back to. I’m still not feeling good, physically or mentally. I’ve had stressful work days (still like the job, I work with good people), computer issues at home, and a whole mess of miscommunications. If I could pull a mega-hermit and never leave Château Innsmouth, I would be seriously tempted. But, I can’t, so I won’t. Plus, I do miss my friends, so no haunted mansions outside of town for me. Glad it’s Friday either way. Tonight is bad movies and early to bed. Hopefully this weekend will be a change of mood, and next week will be better. I can dream at least.

Green Vulpine needs Hope, badly.

Well it’s another week, and I’m not doing so hot. Had a relapse after last weekend, doctor called in new antibiotics which have helped. But I still feel pretty lousy. My lungs are really tight, I’ve been using the inhaler a bunch. It helps, but I have a feeling I need to find a respiratory specialist and get my lungs really checked out. Along with an allergist, and possibly a full body transplant specialist. So if anyone is experimenting with building cyborgs, I may be your guinea pig.

I worked from home Mon-Wed. I was told rather firmly to go home since I sounded like a TB ward. I got stuff done, but I still feel like a slacker. *sigh* Oh, I haven’t mentioned it, but I have a new boss. Nothing bad, just some reshuffling above my level. Going to actually meet the guy (he works out of Atlanta, soon to be Tennessee) next week. I do kind of like having remote managers, less of the insanity of a former employer. Plus, me and my team mates just work well together, no real need for a day to day watch over us kind of guy.

Due to the relapse, I’ve mentally canceled most of my weekend plans. Not sure I want to leave the house, not sure I’ll be able to do all the chores that are backed up either though. I really don’t know. I’m going to try to get at least the minimum I need for survival, if I can do more, I will, and if I can’t…well *throws tentacles in the air*

Mental health is…poor. Mom’s anniversary of her passing is next weekend, and I’ve had lots of reminders of things in the last couple of weeks. The pneumonia is definitely NOT helping. (Her death, for those who don’t know, was due to a bout of pneumonia). Add to that the world news lately, and personal issues I don’t want to go into on here, I’m really not a happy fox. Seriously, I think the only reason I haven’t had a full on meltdown is I’m going numb before it happens. Hiding in books, in movies. I have a pshrink visit in a few weeks, and I sense we’ll be changing things.

In regards to the new news on Livejournal, I’m honestly not sure I give a darn. Not that I particularly trust the Russian Federation, but there really isn’t anything on there I’m concerned about. On the other tentacle, they’re no longer using SSL. That’s bad, m’kay. I even tried to force it, nope redirect to port 80. Not sure how much I want to go to DW. I already have a blog, and I have a sort of copy of all my posts on LJ. But since I don’t really have the tentacles to cope with a decision, I’m not going to make one just yet.

So what am I going to do this weekend? Besides at least the bare minimum of chores, I’m watching movies. Specifically right now ‘The Void’, which I’ve been waiting for with major anticipation. I also picked up both ‘Alien vs Predator’ movies on bluray to complete my current collection. So maybe Aliens marathon tomorrow, or something else. Or I may just read all the books. I really am just going to try to relax, hopefully my lungs will feel better, and I’ll be in a better place come Monday. I can dream at least.

Vulpine Goes to the Movies: Ghost in the Shell & Life

Well yesterday I went on a Sci-Fi fest with Amythest and Nymaz. Went to see ‘Ghost in the Shell’ and ‘Life’. So I thought I’d throw together some reviews.

I’m not going to comment on the various controversies about ‘Ghost in the Shell’. Just going to describe what I saw. It’s a very stylistic, cyber punky movie. Shiny and grimy at the same time. Scarlett Johansson looks really good as the Major, but her acting was very cyborgish. The various anime versions of the Major shows her with snark and emotions. The plot is a mix of the original GitS and Stand Alone Complex, with some added backstory that really wasn’t necessary. On the plus side, the effects are good, and the action scenes are dynamic. And since I have a major crush on ms Scarlett, even if her acting was kind of wooden, it was enjoyable to watch. Glad I saw it on the big screen, and I’ll probably pick it up on dvd/bluray, but if I’m wanting a cyberpunk fix, I’ll probably turn to ‘Stand Alone Complex’ or the original movie (which I’m watching now). 3 out of 5 ghosts in the machine.

Then we went to see ‘Life’. Now this was a fun movie. Alien life form examined on the ISS. Alien life form runs amok, fun is had. Unlike ‘Prometheus’ the scientists don’t make completely stupid decisions. They make mistakes, but they’re understandable ones. None of the characters are ‘mad scientists’, and are all pretty likable. The monster is shoggoth-y and the CGI was very well done. There’s even a Lovecraft shout out in the beginning, which made me a very happy cultist. Lots of ‘Alien’ themes, and some ‘The Thing’ flavors, but with it’s own way of doing things. It’s also pretty bleak, as most good SciFi/Horror is, keep in mind. Will definitely watch repeatedly once I have it in my hot little pseudopods. I think it gets 5 out of 5 flailing pseudopods.

So that’s Vulpine at the movies. Had a good time, even if I wasn’t feeling too good. Hopefully next weekend I’ll get to see another Lovecraftian flick, ‘The Void’. If not, it will be on DVD soon. Ok, catch you all later.

Can someone help me find my lung?

It’s April Fool’s Day. Been caught at least twice, possibly I should just avoid the internets today. Oh well.

Was kind of a rough week, still feeling puny, work has ramped up my meeting queue, and I’ve been kind of flailing around trying to get stuff done. Glad it’s the weekend though. Today is movie theater day, going to see ‘Ghost in the Shell’ then ‘Life’ this evening to celebrate Nymaz spawning day (early, since the poor viking is stuck on call on his actually spawning weekend). There will also be general hangout time, and dinner at a diner we all like by the movie theater. Omelet for days, and maybe even pie.

Still coughing up shoggoths, still feeling less than good. I’m hoping it’s just my lungs clearing with a side of allergies redux. But there may be yet another doctor visit coming up, as this is utterly miserable.

Otherwise, things are ok. Double-checked vacation approval with my boss’s boss. Wasn’t ‘worried’ but I wanted to make sure it was cool up the chain. I also found a reason to adjust my pre-Providence travels. Kirk Hammett, along with being a guitarist, is a major horror collector. So a museum in Salem is doing a exhibit of some of his stuff. And since I’m flying into Boston, I may have to make a side trip up to Salem the day I fly in. (on top of visiting old Ironsides and the Boston Aquarium, maybe driving to the Atlantic shore…) Really, I need to make a separate trip to Boston in the future, lots of things I want/need to see with adult eyes. Oh well, that’s what 2018 is for.

What’s up in cultist ville? Books, including finishing the late John Glasby’s ‘Dark Armageddon’ trilogy. The series is about humans trying to survive when the stars come right. It’s very Brian Lumleyesque, but I’ve always liked Glasby’s writing. He doesn’t reinvent anything, or won’t take home the gold in Cthulhu writing, but he does right solid, readable, enjoyable tales that scratch that tentacle itch.

Also, remember ‘Winter Tide? Book freedom day is this Tuesday. It should be in your local brick+mortar stores, as well as findable at your online bookplace of choice, plus there’s always I’ve got the Kindle edition preordered, and I’ll be at the local B&N on Tuesday to get my hardback edition. April has a lot of preorders coming out, so it will be a good reading month.

Also, speaking of Lovecraft, next weekend is the release date for The Void. Lovecraftian film, that has people/shoggoths/mi-go all abuzz. (literally when you mention the later). It will be showing in DFW at one of the Alamo Drafthouses, and I’m looking to go see it on the big screen. (then of course, pick it up on bluray afterwards).

Ok, that’s enough rambling for today. Wish me luck on good movie sign, and feeling better, and I’ll ramble later.