A year ago

Today is the one year anniversary of my first day of freedom from The Shoggoth Pit. (my last day was Sept 11th…but I didn’t want to write this yesterday). A lot of things have changed in a year. I found an old offline journal entry with my wishes for my post pit life. A job where I’d have bosses who didn’t try to stress me out for yucks and giggles, where work had challenges, but I also had support in meeting said challenges. And I got that here at Carcosa Corp, in spades. I also got a much nicer paycheck, and I have coworkers who I can count on to be professional, and at the same time, can be silly with. The only negative is that it is contract, so I cannot say that a year from now I’ll still be in the same boat. But it’s given me hope that yes, I deserve a job where credit is given, and I’m worth what I’m paid.

Outside of the work stuff, the last year I’ve done other stuff. I’ve finally made it outside of Texas, and made it back home to NYC for a fun week. I’m going to Portland in a little under a month for my first Lovecraft festival. I’m sleeping better, though I am having more anxiety dreams about parents than I was. I’m social, and my friends are much less worried about me (sorry gang). I did up my meds this year for depression, but that I felt like I could try to do something to help sounds like positive stuff to me. I’ve also quit caffeine, and cut way down on sugar, and have started to lose weight. Eating a little healthier. Reading more, generally most everything is swinging up at least a little.

Still have anxiety and depression issues. I’m still reacting to things like I’m back at the Shoggoth Pit, meetings make me anxious, new projects cause worries, etc. But I’m catching myself when I start that, and it’s lessening. Day by day, bit by bit, I’m getting better.

So that’s the state of the Vulpine, anniversary edition. Hopefully things keep swinging up through the next year, and that this time in 2017 I’m no longer thinking about the past or being bothered by it.

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