Not doing so good. One of my best friends, the person who I think of as my little sister, has been in the hospital since before I got sick. Today I got a message from her husband that I need to be back up at the hospital ASAP. Not going into detail, but her lungs are failing, and there isn't any options to correct it. Either her body finds a way to heal itself, or she doesn't recover. Was up at the hospital, emotions pretty well locked in a box whenever I was around people. Got people talking about other things, or listened to them when they talked sad. What I'm good at. I learned how to compartmentalize emotions when Dad was in hospice. I also learned to not keep the box closed too long. So when I felt the end of my rope, I said my goodbyes and came home. Got myself into a shower, had a good cry, and have been distracting myself since.
So what's next? No idea, that's up to things so far outside of my control
it's not funny. So it's one day at a time, one tentacle in front of another,
and making sure I take care of myself. Tomorrow, unless I need to be else
where, will probably be doing the tasks I dropped today. Then work, which
I'll have to really work at focusing to get a project with a short time
frame done and out the door. Then it's Thanksgiving, which to be honest
ATM I'm not very thankful for much. Then the project implementation for
work, then probably a holiday change freeze., which I'll have to spend
catching up on a lot of other stuff, plus moving prep and Cthulhumas.
Oh, this version of my blog will be going away at some point. Wordpress
is too cumbersome for how I want to blog, so unless I think of a better
option, I think I'll be going back to using Livejournal and importing
that feed into the Innsmouth website, like I did years ago on Cabal23.net.
The LJ API hasn't changed much, and I can still use an ancient perl script
I have to log in and post. And frankly, the worries we all had about
Soviet LJ seem to be tiny all things considered. None of the content will
vanish, because I cross posted most everything to LJ since I started on
Wordpress. We'll see how it works out. But for now, back to tuning
out and watching comfort movies.